Adams Family

Happy Birthday Berlyn!

2011-02-10T09:14:00.001-08:00

Berlyn,

From the moment you were placed into my arms I knew that you were special and God had great things planned for your life.

Today we celebrate your life with love and thanksgiving.

You have battled all odds and you're my hero. When I found out that you came to us with a broken heart I wanted so bad to take away your pain and wanted to trade places with you. I had no idea how my life would be changed forever.

You've endured more stuff in your first year, than alot of us adults may take a whole life to experience. And all with your sweet smile. I really don't know whether I could have passed the year of trials and tribulations without your strength and courage. Whenever I wanted to cry and hide myself from everything, God showed me your strength and told me that He was in control. When I would cry out to God, he gave me peace and reminded me that you're His own. You're so very special and everything about you is a testimony of God's faithfulness, love, healing, promise and grace. Your life has taught me lessons that may have taken me a lifetime to learn. Your journey has brought me in contact with people, that only heaven could have made it possible. Even though your journey continues, we look to the future with promise and much hope. God has brought you this far and has a purpose for you.

You have certainly impacted my life and I know the lives of many, and that's just the beginning. I treasure you and honor God for allowing us to get to this day.

Thank you for opening my eyes to many things that I was so blinded to before.

I love you more than words will ever be able to express.

Love,

Mom

Heart update

2011-02-09T10:41:00.001-08:00

I think this picture pretty much says it all.

Berlyn's heart appointment check up was on Monday and we couldn't have asked for better news.

He checked her out and said that her heart is looking good and her stenosis is still at the mild range right now. He said it actually appeared to improve slightly from the last appointment. What a huge relief that was to hear. We see him again in August to see where we are at.

We want to thank everyone that continues to pray for our little girl. We really appreciate your love and support. She sure is a fighter.

We are happy to have the good news so we can enjoy her 1st birthday tomorrow!

Update- Fundraiser

2011-02-02T15:27:00.000-08:00

I don't know really what to say...let me start out with THANK YOU!

Thank you to the many friends who donated.

Thank you to the many of you who donated and who don't even know us.

Thank you to each and every one of you who made such meaningful donations and for spreading the news these past 12 days.

When I made the goal of $2,000 I really thought it was a far shot...day after day I would see the donations roll in and was so amazed. Not only did we reach the goal, but so far we are $322 over that goal and still have some coming in.

It was so awesome to see so many of you out there with such caring hearts. I know alot of you have followed us this past year on this unexpected journey that we've been on. It still amazes me when I am at the store or out and about and I hear someone ask me if I am Brianna and they tell me that they read this blog or have been praying for Berlyn and our family. I want to say thank you for all of your support and your prayers. We couldn't have made it through this journey without you.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Fundraiser update

2011-01-27T09:48:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to update everyone on the fundraiser so far. We are at $1,227.00!!! Over half way there and we still have 18 more days!! Thank you all so much for your support. I am very hopeful we will reach our goal! Please keep spreading the word. :) If you still haven't donated and would like to you can go directly to The Joyful site here or by clicking the donate button to the right of this post. Thank you again!!

Love,

The Adams Family

Fundraiser update

2011-01-24T11:23:00.000-08:00

We are only a few days in to the fundraiser and we are getting close to half way there. The total is now at $642.00. That is a little over 32 blankets that will be going to someone who really needs to be lifted up! I am amazed by every ones love and support for a good cause! We even had two donors that are cancer survivors! We also had a young boy donate some of his allowance after hearing about what we're doing. So thankful to all of you!!

Please remember if you do donate you can either go directly to The Joyful foundation site by clicking here, or if you would rather do it through paypal you can click on the donate button to the right.

I will keep everyone updated on our progress!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!

Berlyn's Fundraiser

2011-01-21T15:26:00.000-08:00

Can't even believe that our little girl is almost 1. As this day is fast approaching I have had so many mixed emotions. This year has been such a crazy year. Last year around this time I just wanted this baby out and to meet her. I never in a million years would have guess our baby would have anything wrong with her.

March 30th, 2010 my life was turned upside down. On that day I found out that Berlyn had a heart defect and would require a balloon dilation that following week. That whole week was a blur. Since that day I have seen life so different. Before all this I just went about my business and thought this stuff happened to "other" people. I have always had a generous heart but never really went out of my way to make a difference until her. She has made me who I want to be and made me appreciate life and see things so differently. All this pain I've experienced over the years has really opened my eyes to see there is way more to life. And for that I am thankful.

As her birthday approaches I am thankful for each and everyday with her. She has become such a fun, sweet girl.

I wanted to make her birthday special and to mean something more than just cake and ice cream and toys. I have decided that I wanted to give back to other children and families that are going through those hard painful days that seems like there is no end in sight. I have decided to do a fundraiser for The Joyful Foundation in honor of Berlyn's first birthday. The Joyful foundation is an organization of all volunteers that sews blankets for hospitals, cancer centers, heart patients, patients that are getting chemotherapy and dialysis as well as victims of spousal abuse and their children. They donated an awesome "heart" blanket with her name on it. Which we take everywhere with us.

I don't think anyone will ever understand the amount of pain someone goes through unless they are in that position or have to see their child go through something so traumatic as heart surgery or cancer or many other serious problems. The joyful foundation has so much demand for blankets for kids like the girl below that they really can't keep up.

Joyful Foundation patient who just got her blanket

I know times are tough for alot of people so I'm not asking for much. I have set my goal to raise $2,000. I know that seems like alot but I am hopeful that I can reach that goal and be able to tell Berlyn and show her how we celebrated her first birthday. If you feel lead to give anything even if it's $5.00 that will help out tremendously. If you would like to donate online you can go here Make sure that you write in the comment section "Berlyn". Thank you from the bottom of our "hearts" I will be updating everyone and let you know if we reached the goal!!

Broken Heart

2010-11-04T21:11:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to post now for the past few days and kept thinking of things to write and between the crying, researching, working and chasing after kids I really just avoided it all together.

Finally I have a few minutes and wanted to share with you on the status of Berlyn. Monday was her follow up cardiology appointment since her last hospital visit. I was already having a bad morning and was hoping that this wasn't a sign of things to come. Unfortunately, for us this was a sign of how the rest of the day would go.

I asked my Grandma to go with me to the appointment to be with me and keep an eye on Aven for me. I had this gut feeling it was gonna not be news I wanted to hear alone. It didn't take the doctor long to look at her and let me know that he had a good feeling that within the next year or so Berlyn would most likely have to again have the balloon dilation performed. Hearing those words was like a stab to my chest. I tried to play it cool but was screaming inside. WHY??? WHY AGAIN??? I know what the risks of doing another one is. You risk stretching the valve again and risk causing it to leak. We also discussed the possibility of having to one day repair or replace her valve. I know that everyone says that everything will be ok and just take it one day at a time. It's just not easy to not think about what could be a great possibility down the road. I was fine up until the office door closed behind me. I just stood there and cried. I always read about this stuff that happened to other children. Never in a million years would I have pictured myself going down this road.

It amazes me that in a matter of minutes how your life can be changed forever. On Monday I felt like life as I once knew it came to a halt as the rest of the world carried on around me. It was my Moms birthday and I was having everyone over to celebrate. I didn't want to ruin the day so I tried my best to put a smile on my face and act like I wasn't breaking down inside. Sometimes you never realize things living in your perfect world that there are bigger things out there. Things that can bring you to your knees in an instant. Things that have kept you from seeing the true meaning of life and what it really means to live.

Monday night I kept looking at Berlyn thinking how can this laughing baby possibly have anything wrong with her?

Being told that there is something wrong with your child is probably one of the hardest things to hear as a parent. You start feeling so many emotions all at one time and feel so quickly overwhelmed. You go from being shocked, angry, helpless as you realize there is nothing that you can do to change the situation and have so much fear of not knowing where the next day or months will take you.

It starts to seem like everything around you begins to suffer. I have watched my friendships become closer and even some fade away. I have watched as my marriage takes a hit as we both try and learn to come together and deal with our grief on many different levels. (I tend to be more open with my feelings, I think he thinks he has to be the tough one and not show them.) There are so many hardships that come along with this kind of news that can either break you if you let them. Or can make you stronger and realize the important things that really matter.

It breaks my heart to come to realize I don't have the perfect, healthy child that I always dreamed of having and living the life I thought I would. I have found hope that although this new journey is full of many uncertainties that my faith and ability to trust God fully with this will guide me through this journey. I have found joy in the simple things and have learned to cherish each and every single moment with my family.

I know God performed his first miracle with Berlyn's life when we were able to find out at a unrelated urgent care appointment that she even had anything wrong with her heart. I know for a fact that if we didn't find out that day that she might not be around today.

Berlyn is a precious miracle to us and I thank God for her everyday for her and for the changes I have made in my life because of having her here.

Another scary moment that probably aged me 20 years

2010-09-28T14:33:00.001-07:00

Well I'm back. What a crazy few weeks it has been. Just when you think everything is going nice and calm and your life is getting back to semi-normal, something happens and once again a rug is pulled out from under your feet.

September 12th...another one of the scariest days being of being a parent.

I knew this day was off to a bad start when I decided it would be a good day to go on a hike. It's the first time I've done any major exercising in awhile. I know your only supposed to wait the normal 6 weeks to start working out but I chose 7 months. (wanted to make sure I was really healed up :) haha) The hike was about 5 miles long and about 2.5 miles up a huge hill. I was thanking God when I could see the end in sight. I was thinking how bad I wanted to just go home and relax.

On my way home I got a call from Johnny and he said, "You need to hurry and get home, Berlyn just puked." I was thinking ok she just spit up like she always does. No big deal. I hurried home and walked in and went over to say hello to her. As soon as I walked over to her I could see she was choking and gasping for air. I sat her up really quick and she was trying to throw up. She spit up some nasty looking bile and it got on me. I told Johnny to hold her for a second while I wiped it up. As soon as I turned my back he yelled at me, "Brianna somethings wrong she doesn't look like she's breathing." (Something to that effect. After I looked back everything was a blurr) I looked over and she was limp and really white and her lips were blue. He padded her on her back and she kind of woke up but was still really out of it. I grabbed her and told him to dial 911. I grabbed her and held her in my arms and immediately thought that she was having problems with her heart.

I called my Mom and told her to come as soon as she could. As I sat and waited for the ambulance to arrive which seemed like an eternity. I just held her and prayed to God that this wasn't her heart and she would be ok.

The paramedics got to our house and asked us a bunch of questions and transported us to the nearest hospital. I think they thought I was just an over paranoid Mom who's daughter just threw up and was no big deal. The paramedic pretty much just sat there filling out paper work the whole ride over. I kept telling him that she looked super pale and I could tell something wasn't right. He still sat there filling out his paper work when she began to throw up again. Finally he realized that I wasn't just a over paranoid Mom and this was a little more serious. He finally said, "Yeah maybe I should put on some Oxygen." DUHHHH

As soon as we arrived at the hospital they started her on IV fluids and her color started to come back and she was being her happy self again.

They didn't know what would cause her to pass out and wanted to do more testing. Chino hospital doesn't have a pediatrics department so they transported us to CHOC. I was so thankful to have them come. I could now know that Berlyn was in safe hands.

She got treated like royalty on her ride over to CHOC. They sang to her, let her watch Dumbo, blew her bubbles. All while I sat in the front seat pulling out my hair.

We got to CHOC around 5PM that night. I was still in the same sweaty work out clothes from that morning and still hadn't eaten. By this time the soreness set in from not working out like that in a year. I was walking around the hospital like I just finished a bull riding competition.

They did a bunch of tests on her and still couldn't figure out what was wrong with her.

They decided to keep us over night and see how she did.

They finally came in the next day and told me that she was super dehydrated and said it caused her to have a cynaotic episode which made her pass out.

They did check her heart and the report did show that her valve looked a little tighter but her cardiologist said that when they get sick or are under stress it can cause that to happen.

We go back on November 1st to see how her heart is doing then.

This little girl is sure giving her parents some sleepless nights and heart aches and she's not even 1 years old.

Missing in Action

2010-09-10T14:45:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in awhile. Been pretty busy. Not to mention my husband thinks I spend way to much time "blogging" so I haven't done it as much. :)

Anyway, things have been going good. We had a small scare with Berlyn a few weeks back. Her head grew pretty quick since her last appointment so they were concerned she had "water on her brain" Thank God that my baby just has a big head. She is perfectly fine.

We did find out that same day that Aven also has a heart murmur and we are going on Monday to see the cardiologist to find out if his is just a "normal" murmur. I am praying that it is.

Today Berlyn is 7 months old! Boy how the time flies by. I will update with her monthly picture later but I will leave you with a few pics I took of her the other day.

I wish I looked this cute chubby :)

She wore an itsy bitsy tinnie winnie.....

2010-08-06T13:52:00.001-07:00

Yellow polka dot bikini

that she wore for the first time today!

Look alike?

2010-08-06T13:34:00.000-07:00

I've been working on trying to get some pictures done of Berlyn for her up and coming 6 month birthday. Can't believe it's been almost 6 months already. Where has the time gone? You'd think it would seem longer since I haven't got sleep in that amount of time.

Anyway, here is a side by side comparison of Aven and Berlyn right about the same time. Do you think they look alike? Well I do. I think all except their noses :)

My first Diamonds...ok CZ's

2010-07-30T10:35:00.001-07:00

Once again I am slacking on my blog. These past few weeks have been SO busy. I think everyone in the family got sick at one point in the past few weeks and Berlyn does not like her beauty sleep. Mom needs some beauty sleep BADLY :)

I've been going back and forth on if I wanted to get her ears pierced or not. I always felt so bad cause she's already gone through so many pokes and pricks and procedures in her short life. Why would I want to add to it?

I finally gave in and we took a family trip to go get them done.

Berlyn wasn't so sure about what was happening.

As you can tell by this picture I wasn't so sure either. This is my attempt at a smile. FAKE!

She was in such a good mood and so excited to get her first set of diamonds!

This was right after. She wasn't crying cause it hurt. She was crying when she found out that her Dad bought her FAKE diamonds!!! Guess he will have to make it up to her and get her the real things for her birthday :)

This was me after. (Please excuse the dark circles. I told you she's not letting me get my sleep) I think this whole ordeal was harder on me than it was on her.

As soon as the lady did her second ear my Mom grabbed her as fast as she could to comfort her. Can't stand to see her grandbaby cry :(

"Mom, you have to come back here we haven't paid for those yet!"

Two years

2010-07-08T09:41:00.001-07:00

Two years! Can't believe I'm even saying that. How only two years can change your life so much!

Two years of your sweet skin.

Two years of your contagious smile,

Two years of your awesome personality,

Two years of your frustrations,

Two years of your tears,

Two years of your friendship,

Two years of watching you grow into this little wonder.

It still feels like yesterday when I heard your first cry and wondered how I ever deserved this. I know I was meant to love you forever. You are growing up so fast and everyday is a joy to watch you grow into your own little self. This year was a year that I will not soon forget. I watched you as you took your first steps. Watched as my belly grew and grew and how you would love to rub my belly and kiss it and say "baby". I watched as you became a big brother and how you embraced your job better than I would have ever dreamed. I was so scared that you would think that I didn't love you the same or would get jealous but you didn't..you were such a good boy about everything.

Even though you didn't know it at the time but when I got the news of your sister being sick I hit rock bottom, you were always there to make me laugh even in my darkest days. You will never know how much your little smile meant to me.

I know words will never express the depth of love I have for you, but I will spend everyday of my life showing you.

I love you so much my son!

Father's Day

2010-06-22T10:01:00.001-07:00

We had a great Father's day weekend (besides only sleeping a few hours)

I took a few pictures of Aven wearing his Daddy's shirt and tie. If you know Aven you know this wasn't an easy task. Thank God we live near the airport and he loves planes. One flew by right in time and got him excited.

I invited my Mom and Dad over for Father's Day breakfast. I stayed up late making my Dad and Johnny their own place mats and coffee mugs. They better know how much I love them to stay up late on no sleep to make this stuff :)

Berlyn's gift to Dad

Later that day we took a family walk to the park. Aven wanted to walk the dog by himself but it was more like the dog was walking him.

Berlyn and I sat under a shaded tree on a blanket and enjoyed watching Dad and Aven walk around the park.

I wanted to make this day special for my husband cause he is such a wonderful Father. This year has been one of ups and downs for me and going through what I did with Berlyn he stayed so strong for me even when I felt so weak. I love that he is such a hands on Father and loves showing our kids affection. I love that he loves giving Aven his bath every night. I love that he loves to get up in the middle of the night to rock his baby girl to sleep when Mommy has lost her patience. I love that he talks about how he wants to be there when Berlyn picks out her wedding dress one day. I love to hear Aven get excited and yell.."DADDY'S HERE" every evening when the garage door opens up. I love to see Aven walk around in his Dads shoes around the house cause he wants to be just like Daddy.

I am so excited to see the relationship between him and these kids grow each and everyday.

So to my husband, Thank you for being the Father and Husband that you are!!

We all love you!

To my Baby Girl

2010-06-11T21:04:00.000-07:00

To my precious baby girl,

I write this as I wonder,
Will you ask someday?
Why do I have to go to the
doctor to check my heart?
Did God make me this way?
What will happen to me?
What does my future hold?
Will I hold my own children?
Then live until I'm old?
I think about your future,
Imagining what lies ahead,
Perhaps I need to concentrate,
On present things instead.

The present:

Right now you are enjoying life,
A chubby little 4 month old girl,
You make us laugh...yes everyday,
And fill our hearts with joy.
And people often ask me,
So she's all better right?
Her heart is fixed, she seems just fine,
Her future's looking bright.
Yes, "She's doing well", I say,
I hope things stay this way,
I still fear for her future,
And every night I pray....
Give me yet another day,
Keep my child strong,
I do not want to lose her Lord,
Please let her life be long.

Thank you....

Thank you Lord, for showing me,
What just one child can do,
I marvel at her courage,
And the trials she's been through,
Thanks for your compassion
(And need I say it?...grace)
You've led me through each valley,
And you've brought me to this place.
A place where I'm not angry,
And it's easier to see,
That I was not the person,
That you wanted me to be.
Thank you for the trials Lord,
They've taught me how to give,
Thank you for my child Lord,
She's shown me how to live.

Did God make you this way?

I've asked myself this question,
A thousand times before,
Then it became a question that,
I just could not ignore.
God, he made you perfect,
Bestowing you with gifts to share,
God made you with his own hands,
Then numbered every hair.
He saw no imperfection,
Or heart...that is broken,
He saw you...his well loved child,
And the he saw...lives changed.

The future...

The future is no place to live,
And neither is the past,
The present should be cherished,
As it truly goes too fast,
I don't know what your future holds,
Or what we'll have to face,
I know who holds us through each storm,
I know we lean on grace.
I know that life's not always fair,
I know God has a plan,
I know he gives us strength and hope,
I know he says..."You can."

I write this as I wonder,
Will you ask me why?
Will you someday understand,
Just why we had to try?
Know, how very much your loved,
(Through every storm and strife)
Know, I wanted you to have,
A chance..to live your life.

-Stephanie Husted

I found this on another blog and I had to post it on my blog. I loved what she said. I changed it up a little bit to fit me.

Great Papa & Nannie

2010-06-10T14:48:00.001-07:00

For the past few months on Wednesdays we make the short trip up to my Grandparents to spend the day with them. I grew up so close to my Grandparents and as I have gotten older and have had kids of my own I realize how important it is for them to be close with them as well.

Aven loves Wednesdays when I wake him up from his nap and ask him..."Do you want to go see Nannie & Papa?" He says YES!! As soon as we are a few minutes from their house he yells over and over, "Nannie & Papa's house?"

I just love both of them and I treasure the moments I get to spend with them. I thank God that I have them and that my kids can enjoy them as well.

Aven loves to go through all of Grandpa's gardening equipment and play. He put on his hat (knee pads) and made my Grandpa put his on too.

We love to sit out on their porch swing and enjoy a nice talk in the breeze while Aven picks flowers for Nannie. We get to sit and wave to all the older people walking and driving by. I'm pretty sure Aven makes their Wednesdays.

Berlyn even enjoyed swinging being held by Nannie. One of my favorite things to do when I was little was lay on Nannie. (God blessed her with a nice cushy chest)

(look at those legs...don't you just want to eat them?)

It's nice to take a small break out of the busy week to just sit back and enjoy spending time with family. I always look forward to Wednesdays now. :)

4 Months

2010-06-10T13:07:00.001-07:00

Not sure where the heck the time has gone. Seemed like I blinked and now she is already 4 months. I've been feeling really bad lately, I feel like I haven't taken that many pictures of Berlyn so I thought I would take a few. I don't want her to get older and tell me how Aven has so many pictures and she has like 10. ha

She is such a sweet little baby. She HATES to sleep in her pack and play and wants to be next to Mommy all the time. How can I complain when this little one wants to snuggle with Mom all night?

It's bitter sweet to see her growing up so fast. I am so excited to see what God has in store for this small but mighty little girl.

Vision Walk

2010-06-07T16:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the Vision walk in which my Mom, Berlyn and I walked in for the team Gavin's groupies. It was probably one of the hottest days it has been in a long time but it was amazing to see everyone still out there walking and doing it with smiles on their faces knowing why we were all out there.

I love this picture that I got of Gavin and his Mom Jennifer before the race started.

I think it says so much.

I made Berlyn a shirt the night before because I didn't want her to not have her own shirt to wear. We will ignore the fact that it dyed her chin and hands from the dye I used....oops.

But she sure looked cute :)

Another picture of Gavin.....isn't he just the sweetest?

Here is a pic of Berlyn and a friend of mine triplets. I give credit to her and her husband, it is alot of work keeping just one kid happy for that amount of time in the heat and they had 3!

Berlyn enjoying Mom pushing her and showing off her orange hands.

It was pretty cool they had the sprinklers going every 1/2 mile or so, I decided I would run through to try and cool off my back sweat and sweat in other areas that shouldn't be sweat. Thank God my Mom doesn't know how to use my camera to see me running. I was nice enough to snap some shots of her though :)

Even the dogs were trying to cool off.

We had alot of fun and can't wait to go back again next year.

All children should be able to see a sunset!

2010-06-03T16:22:00.000-07:00

I will be walking in 3 days in the Vision walk in support of an awesome little boy named Gavin. Gavin was born blind, he has what is called Leber's Congenital Amaurosis.

I met his mother through a friend at a wedding, I started following her blog not long after Gavin was born. I have always been so amazed by Jennifer, and how she has done nothing but research and raise money and awareness for her son's condition. I never understood how she was so strong and always looked up to her for how she has educated herself and fights everyday for not only her son but also for the other people with this condition to be able to see one day.

I truly believe God puts these precious children in the arms of Mom's like her cause he knows what they are capable of.

Little did I know a little over a year after learning about Gavin and wondering how Jennifer does it. I was tested in my own way, when I found out about Berlyn. I now knew how Jennifer felt staying up ALL hours of the night wearing out her computer doing research and trying to educate herself on what she can do to help. We have joked around how big of nerds we have become from all of this.

I actually got to chat a little with Jennifer a few weeks ago when I went to her house to drop off some clothes for a fundraiser they were doing for Gavin and she mentioned that if Gavin was a girl that his name was going to be Berlyn Marie (not sure if the spelling would have been the same). What's even funnier is I thought about the name Gavin if Berlyn was a boy.

I am trying to help out as much as I can cause I know if I needed help with Berlyn she is the type of Mom who would step in and help me as well.

I know times are tough right now, but if you find it in your heart to help as well you can go here. Even if it's $10.00, any bit helps!

I know for a fact because of Gavin's strong willed and determined mother Gavin WILL see a sunset one day. It brings me to tears thinking about it.

Memorial Weekend....One I wont soon forget.

2010-06-01T08:07:00.000-07:00

I should have known it was gonna be a bad day when I woke up to hear that the 91 freeway was closed in both directions due to a tanker that had exploded on the freeway.

We went to go pick up Johnny when he got off work to head down to Newport dunes to meet my family for a little vacation. I thought it would be nice since we haven't gotten away since before Berlyn was born and I thought it would be a nice little get away. My sister and her family are staying down there in their RV and she was going to be having my niece and nephews birthday parties down there.

We got down to Newport dunes about 5:30 Friday night. We unloaded all of our luggage and were getting settled in. I set Berlyn down on the bed so I could put on my wrap so I could be able to run and watch over Aven. Johnny went to use the bathroom. Berlyn was SCREAMING at the top of her lungs as I tried to hurry to put the wrap on. Aven kept messing with the door, as I was yelling for him to move away it opened up and he went flying out down the steps. He hit his head on what I think was the bottom step. Just as he was falling out my Dad came around the corner. He was coming to see who was screaming and bashed his head on the trailer and was bleeding. He went to pick up Aven and got blood all over. By this time Johnny came out of the bathroom only to see Aven with a HUGE bump on his head and blood all over. He paniced and said we are going to the hospital RIGHT now. (not sure how he was able to see all he did in the Marines, maybe because it was his son?) I assured him he was ok. I used to fall on my head all the time and get huge bumps....would explain everything now.

Sad to say but with this kid I know there are many more days ahead of us with skined up knees and cuts and bruises. This was his first big injury :(

Finally he settled down and we hung out a little bit with Bridget and the kids. Aven was super tired so we all decided we were going to get some sleep.....so we thought!

Aven is not the type of kid to just fall asleep where I lay him, if he's not in his crib he has a hard time sleeping. I figured he would be so tired from playing so hard out there that it wouldn't be a problem. I didn't factor in the head injury, nor did I factor in my Grandparents who were staying in the trailer with us snoring ALL night. I remember at one point in the night waking up and just praying to God that the morning would come so I wouldn't have to listen to this anymore. I even thought about getting up to stuff paper towels in my ears so I wouldn't hear. I watched as the sun slowly came up on my great idea of a nice little get away with about one hour of sleep under both our belts.

I'm actually used to running on no sleep so once I was up I was fine, but I wasn't about to relive another night of torture.

We woke up and headed down to celebrate Faith and Landen's birthday..with glasses on of course to cover my bags.

Justin took all the cousins on a golf cart ride around. Of course Aven is the only one that never enjoys anything :)

My other nephew Colton. Isn't he the cutest??

Aven and Colton giving Johnny some love!

Berlyn enjoyed some nice ocean breeze in her cute little bikini.

They had a luau down at the beach with different games to play. They had a game of tug of war which I wasn't able to participate in cause I had Berlyn on in her wrap. I did enjoy watching and getting a great laugh.

All the men up against all the woman. Not sure how anyone thought this was a fair game. I was trying to yell to the ladies to just let go on the count of 3 and let the men fly back but no one listened.

All the polite Men getting ready to make the women eat sand.

They gave it a good try but it just wasn't gonna happen. Sure was funny though!

Aven enjoyed hanging out with all his cousins. He was in LOVE with Farrah this day. Must have been the cute little green bikini :)

Aven and Cylis hanging out. I think they look like brothers.

Both have that same big head :)

We decided to go home that night and get rest in our own beds. I wasn't gonna last another day with no sleep. I really felt bad since it was me that pretty much planned the whole trip and was me bailing out. We went back the next day nice and rested and had a nice time hanging with the family again.

Yesterday we just stayed home and relaxed with our favorite soilder.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial weekend! I think we will be waiting a little longer before attempting another Adams family vacation.

So close to summer......

2010-06-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

We can almost taste it.

Summer is my favorite time of the year. I love to sit in the backyard and watch Aven play

for hours in his little pool.

Eat popsicles till we get brain freeze.

Watch him give his ducky kisses.

"Aven, don't try to give the ducky kisses while he is in the water!"

"You might choke!"

"And throw up all those tasty popsicles we just had!"

BTW...I didn't just sit and watch my son gulp water. Well I did actually but his Dad was right there to make sure he was ok ;)

He was back to playing

Showing off his new black eye.

Can't wait for summer!!!

Hidden Talent

2010-05-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

I may not be the best wife, mother or friend. This is all stuff I am working on.

But there is no question about the skill that I do have.................

this is something that I was born with and you can't teach................

this my friends is my skill!

My sister and I learned this special talent at a young age and would sit across from each other and try to pick our noses and see who could get it in further. (after looking at this picture I think my tongue might have put on some extra baby weight too....better work on that.) As Brenda would sit and couldn't even get close to her nose. We decided a few weeks ago for some reason to show everyone at a family function how proud we our of our talent and were wondering where on earth did we get this anteater ability from. It was apparent that we didn't get it from my Mom when she willfully stuck out her tongue. Then my dad stuck his out and WOW.....we definitely got it from him. We were all laughing so hard we were nearly in tears.

Guess my Dad has a hidden talent we were not made aware of either.

Do any of you have any hidden talents like us, that you probably shouldn't public put out there like I just did? haha

Congenital Heart Disease..Please read, it could save a life!

2010-05-24T20:58:00.000-07:00

A heart friend of mine that I met last week (whom I know wasn't by accident, she is such an awesome woman) sent me this story of a baby named Cora who passed away at only 5 days of life in the arms of her mother from an undiagnosed case of congenital heart disease.

Reading this story made my heart sink knowing this could have been my little girl too. It's so hard to understand how she was seen by 4 different doctors to check her heart at the hospital and at her first check up and no one picked up on it until I took her to urgent care for something unrelated.

The same thing happened to my friend Rhonda and her son Zeb. She knew something wasn't right with him from the time he was born cause his nail beds were blue and also his feet. She mentioned this 2 times at the hospital and was told that it was normal for newborns to have that and was sent on her way without a pulse ox test. Four weeks later she noticed him being unusually fussy at night (alot like Berlyn ) she noticed him sweating and breathing funny. She called and spoke with the ER and was told that it was probably a stomach issue and to follow up with her Ped. Thank God for her Mommy instinct she took him in and as soon as the doctor saw him he knew something wasn't right. They called 911 right away and he was taken to a Children's Hospital where they diagnosed him with Severe Aortic Stenosis (same as Berlyn) and they were told if it was another hour or two they would have lost their precious son. He again had to have the same procedure Berlyn had only another 4 weeks later after the first one. Zeb had to not only go through those 2 procedures at his young age but he also had to have open heart surgery on his 3rd birthday almost 3 months ago. What a strong little boy. Rhonda has been such an inspiration to me and someone who has the same beliefs as I do. I'm sure she is probably sick of all my questions I've thrown at her this past week. :)

Why am I bringing all this up you ask? How might this effect you? Well I will tell you why! I have pretty much worn out my computer reading up about this and I wish I would have known more not only before I had Berlyn, but before I was even pregnant with Aven. I think if women were more aware of this it would save ALOT of babies. If you are pregnant, plan on being pregnant, know someone who is pregnant, or you are a father you need to know about this. Both of us were blessed to be able to find out about our babies but alot of parents are so lucky and their precious babies end up dying in their sleep.

Impact of Congenital Heart Disease

* Congenital Heart Diseases are also known as congenital heart defects. Over 30 known congenital heart defects exist.

*Often the abbreviation, "CHD" is used to refer to congenital heart disease.

*According to the Children's Heart Foundation, CHD is the Number ONE baby killer.

*CHD is also the most prevalent birth defect, according to the March of Dimes.

*About 1 in 100 babies are thought to be born with the birth defect in the United States. Different organizations use a different number, I've seen it as high as 1 in 70.

How do you know if your baby is one of the 1 in 100?

*Some CHDs are picked up in utero by an regular ultrasound

*Others can be picked up by a level 2 ultrasound

*Some say a fetal echo cardiogram should be conducted on every mother and child to test baby heart.

*Others want an echo cardiogram, test that uses sound waves to get a picture of the heart, for every newborn.

*Cora's Mom is in the stage of lobbying for Cora's Law which would be a standard screening for newborns for a pulse oxy test on every baby. This test is cheap, quick, non-invasive.

What can you do?

* Until pulse oxy tests are standard. You can tell mothers and fathers to ask their doctor to run a pulse ox on their newborn between 24 to 48 hours of age.

*Spread the word. Awareness means more support for much needed research funding.

Awareness means less mothers and fathers will find out about CHD from the coroner.

I never in my life would have ever thought I would have to go down this road and be researching this stuff. Since I am going down this road I want to be used to be able to help other Moms who may be going down the same road and be able to reach out to them. If you know something doesn't look right with your baby or you have a gut feeling go with it and make sure you question those doctors and don't just walk away if you know in your heart they are wrong. It could save their life!

Strong-Willed Child?

2010-05-24T10:24:00.000-07:00

Is your strong-willed child driving you insane? Do you feel like every minute of every day is a nuclear battle of wills?

Raising strong-willed kids is hard on your complexion. They can rob your joy, your confidence and your sleep! For the record, most parents think they have strong willed kids. The fact is, every child goes through seasons when their capacity to test boundaries and assert their will exceeds our pay grade. I’m not talking about these types children. When I say, “strong-willed” I’m talking about those miniature Winston Churchill’s that somehow got assigned to your family photo. These kids are stubborn, argumentative, inflexible, and tough as nails. They are not going to budge from what they want and they have all the energy and time in the world to wait for you to come around.Don’t panic. And don’t surrender. Smile. God has so much confidence in you; he assigned you the job of raising a great leader for him.

Sometimes raising a strong-willed kid is like trying to saddle a rhinoceros.

The biggest problem that strong-willed kids have is that they often have weak-willed parents. These kids are a gift, and God made them the way they are for a reason. Our job as parents is not to break their will, but to bring them up in an atmosphere of grace that builds character into their heart. Obviously, these kids need discipline and respect for authority, but they also have a great need to have choices and control over as much of their life as possible.As long as they're eating, who cares if they want to dip carrot sticks in their chocolate milk? As long as they are going to bed, who cares if they want to wear their Halloween costume and galoshes to sleep? The less battles you create, the fewer you have to win.

Raising strong-willed kids takes courage, stamina and a whole lot of ibuprofen!

Strong-willed kids are a gift from God; not a curse from your parents. These are your future leaders, dreamers and visionaries; but as children, they are a force to be reckoned with. The battle of wills, however, is a war that you must win. But the fewer battles you create, the fewer you have to fight. Before engaging in a sparing match with your kid, ask yourself one question: Is this hill worth dying on?You can circumvent a lot of battles by allowing your strong-willed child to make choices within guidelines that you establish. For instance, as long as they take a nap, who cares if they sleep under their bed dressed as G.I. Joe!Save your energy for those disagreements that aren't open to debate. Focus on issues of moral significance, and make your goal not behavior, but character.

Parenting

2010-05-21T10:56:00.000-07:00

"When it comes to parenting, the days are long and the years are short."

This weekend I am attending a parenting conference. Not cause I don't think I don't know how to raise a child. I mean I have been able to raise two kids so far and they have both made it this far. I guess I'm doing something right.....right???

I think sometimes we as parents get so busy with the day to day stuff that we are raising our kids but are we actually raising great kids? I think in the world today it's even tougher and tougher for our kids growing up with all that is out there for them and even though mine are still young I want to know that I am equipped to handle the stuff that is gonna be throw at them. I think alot of times we compromise on stuff cause we see other parents out there allowing their kids to do certain things and don't want to be the "un-cool" parent. I know how I was growing up and I Thank God that I made it through some of the stuff I did. I know those things are in the past and they have shaped me into the Mom I want to be for my kids.

I think the main reason I thought it would be good to go to this conference was for this little one....

He amazes me everyday with the things he says and how he wants to do everything for himself.

He is my strong willed child.

I know you are probably thinking..."Well she is a strong willed person, why are you surprised your son is one too?"

Well you see....THAT'S WHAT SCARES ME!!

Since he was born I knew that he would definitely be a kid to keep us on our toes and he is everything that I imagined and more. Don't get me wrong I love this little personality. After a long day no matter how bad, he can still make me laugh.

I just want to make sure that I learn to bring out the best in this child of mine.

I want to make sure to raise both of my kids in an environment of love and respect.

I pray for this one everyday. I pray that God doesn't give me too much pay back for the strong willed child I was for my parents :)

I am so excited to be going to this. I will update everyone how it went. I expect to be a tougher and more loving parent than I was before.

I will be Mrs. Sgt Adams and get this household back into shape come Sunday. WATCH OUT!!

Mini Van

2010-05-18T08:42:00.000-07:00

I would have sworn a few years ago I would have never considered to own a mini van but after having two kids and a double stroller and beach toys, blankets, bunch of other stuff I couldn't tell you, we are running out of room in our ford edge. My husband swears mini vans are so cool cause he usually gets to drive one when he's out of town on business and I wasn't so convinced. After seeing this video on another blog I may have to go out and get one to join the club. :)

Hot Date

2010-05-17T19:32:00.001-07:00

Tonight was probably one of the nicest dates I've been on in a LONG time. (no offense to my husband) Can't really expect many nice dates when you've been pregnant for almost 3 years straight :)

Chick-fil-A was having a mother son Luau and I decided it would be a great cheap way to spend a little time with Aven by himself. Since Berlyn has been born we haven't had much one on one time together and I figured he would have fun spending time alone with Mom.

I took him to get his hair cut for the big date.

He got all cleaned up after his hair cut and we got ready for our date. I even let him wear some of Daddy's cologne so he could smell nice for Mommy :)

They had it set up pretty cute. They gave us both conversation starters we were supposed to ask each other. He is still too young to understand what they meant but we did it anyway.

Then we got to decorate cupcakes for each other. Aven was just more interested in eating the cupcake. Who has time to decorate them?

Here is my finished cupcake. I thought they were so cute what they did. They mixed brown sugar with regular sugar to make sand.

Aven was more interested in the cow next to me. No I'm not talking about me.

Aven is obsessed with cows. Maybe because we live in Chino and that's all we see driving around out here. He also has a new game he likes to play and we call that fly hunting. He's getting pretty good at it. ha

He would chase the cow around yell, Hi Cow! When the cow would turn to back to him Aven would yell. NOOOOO Cow. He had everyone laughing.

Heart Mom

2010-05-17T11:23:00.000-07:00

Here is a poem written by a fellow heart mom on the lessons we learn:

Heart mom lesson number ten...

Forget who you were...and who you have been,
Life is about...to take a detour,
And you will be shaken...to your very core.
You've just found out...something's not right,
How will you make it through this plight?
What can you do? What should you expect?
Of life with a child...with a heart defect?

Heart mom lesson number nine...

You'll learn to say...things are just fine,
When people stop... to just say hi,
There will be days...you long to cry.
Bound by worry, fear, and stress,
At times you'll think..."I am a mess",
You'll smile, thinking...can they tell?
Then say..."thank you we’re doing well".

Heart mom lesson number eight...

You'll learn just what it means to wait.
Patience is a virtue right?
Who really needs to sleep at night?
A hospital room... not a permanent state,
As each day passes... home must wait.
Patience is knowing...things won't stay the same,
Patience is accepting...a changing time frame.

Heart mom lesson seven here...

Our children's futures still aren't clear,
Innovations continue to thrive,
Each year more children will survive.
These children...and their families,
Will rise to fight...these CHD's.
Research...is imperative,
Our kid's deserve a chance...to live.

Heart mom lesson number six....

It's clear life holds no easy fix,
If life were perfect...in every way,
I guess...I'd have no need to pray,
I'd still be living...blind...and dim,
Forgetting...I must lean on HIM.
I cannot change the way things are,
But prayer makes God...seem not so far.

Heart mom lesson number five....

Cherish this day...your child's alive.
Today we frolicked in the snow,(Did he like it? hmmm...well...no)
I watched him smile..as snowflakes fell,
I thought...thank God...he's doing well,
A bundled boy...warm hat...one glove,
No doubt about it...this is love.

Heart mom lesson number four...

There is always time for more,
More messes that need cleaning up,
More cartoons on t.v,
More yes...I'm gonna tickle you,
(The best things remain free)
More bubbles in the bathtub,
More stories...one more song,
More this little piggie went to market,
One more...just can't be wrong.

Heart mom lesson number three...

Their special hearts...help us to see...
Did I always understand?
That God holds our lives in his hand?
Before my child...I took for granted,
The gifts in my life...that God surely planted,
Before my eyes...I missed them...how?
My heart child came...I see them now.

Lesson number two...

take heart...It is okay, to fall apart...
It's not easy, we don't know...
Will we watch our children grow?
God looks to his angels...saying see why I chose her,
She's never afraid to lose her composure...
In her heart...she feels defiled,
But nothing will stop her... from loving her child.

Heart mom lesson...number one...

It must be said...we're never done!
That day...will never come you see,
We'll always face uncertainty,
But I will face each day unknown,
Taking heart...I'm not alone,
These lessons... remind me to cope...
Stand strong...
believe...and always hope...

~Stephanie Husted

2 months...well actually 3

2010-05-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

Goes to show how fast the months are flying by for me lately. I didn't even get a chance to post Berlyn's 2 month picture before I realized she is 3 months.

She is getting SO big and SO fast it makes me want to cry.

This picture was taken only 4 days after they were in there working on her little but strong heart. This little girl is so strong even at her young little age. She got all dressed up this day to go get her two month shots in which she weighed in at 12lbs. 11 oz. and 22 in. long. For a little one with a heart condition she sure loves to eat and is a super healthy baby :)

She is now 3 months and weights about 14 lbs. We got to see her Cardiologist on Monday and the news we got couldn't be better. Her heart has remained unchanged after her procedure and still has no leakage which is what we wanted to hear. Her gradient level was about a 70 when she went in and is now down to about a 20.

She likes to try and sit up already, which I can no longer let her sit on my bed without be supervised. As you can tell she likes to roll over.

She thinks it's pretty funny when she does it too!

I am so proud to be the Mommy of this little girl. She brings me no sleep but alot of fun and laughs to make up for it. She is one happy girl (unless I put her down). She has a set of lungs on her and can scream like her Mommy does on those amusement park rides. (Torie will know how this sounds) haha

Aven wasn't as happy that he was getting no attention while I was taking a few snapshots of his sister.

BUT MOM!!!!!

Flashback Friday

2010-05-07T11:05:00.000-07:00

This was from last year on Mothers Day. Little did I know that year I was carrying the best give someone could have given me that year. Our precious baby girl Berlyn. I have added a child every Mothers Day so far. Can't wait to see what this next year being a mother has in store for me :)

Wishing all you beautiful, hard working Moms out there a Happy Mothers Day!

I Will Carry You

2010-05-03T18:19:00.000-07:00

If you remember this post I did awhile back. I had a video on there of a couple who lost their baby girl only 2 months before I had Aven. I have followed her blog since then and just this past Saturday the book she has been working on hit the shelves. Of course I had to rush out and grab it so I could read it. I absolutely love her blog and her writing style. (Please excuse mine. After all I did go to Chino High...what do you expect?) I will be honest with you. It's probably the first book I've read front to back since I read Green Eggs & Ham when I was a little girl. haha I am so not a reader.

As soon as I got home I read the book until my eyes were burning and I couldn't keep them open any longer. The next day I picked it up and went outside to enjoy the beautiful day and finished the WHOLE thing. This really hit home for me. Ever since I found out about Berlyn's condition a part of me has changed. I view life alot different than I did before. Not that I thought I was so invincible and nothing would happen to me or my family. But, sometimes you tend to go about your life thinking stuff like this doesn't happen to your family. Life seems so perfect and everything is going so well and then BAAAAM (I know this isn't a word) it's like a rug has been pulled from underneath you. Guess my life isn't going to be the way that I had planned. I even had a conversation with my brother about 3 days prior to me finding out about Berlyn and how we have been so fortunate with all the kids we have in our family and we really haven't had anything major happen. Little did I know those words would come back to haunt me on March 30th.

For me I have learned that doing what is right isn't always the "popular" thing. These past few months I have decided that I want to start going back to church and raise my kids up to know what is most important in life. It seems like every since I made that commitment my whole life kinda turned upside down. Yes, I know from the outside or from alot of Mom's blogs people seem to put up this front that life is so great and that they have it all together when the truth is everyone has their struggles. Whether it be with your job, kids, finances, husband, etc. I think living like that does no one any good including yourself. I am not saying that my life is horrible by any means but lately everything for me is being tested. My relationship with my husband, health of my child, my patientce with learning how to adjust to two little ones and not feeling guilty about not spending enough time with each one, trying to juggle and keep up on my job, making sure my husband gets the attention he deserves. Sometimes I think am I the only one who has these issues? Is it just me or does everyone else seem to have it all together? I want you to know that we don't.

One thing I have learned from reading this book and everything that I have been going through the past few months is that you either believe and trust that he is in control or you don't. When you are hit with certain things in your life what do you have to cling to except trusting that he has a plan and a purpose for your life. At the time you maybe thinking why if he says who he says he is he can't fix my child or get me that job or fix this mess with my husband or family? I can't fully answer those questions but I do know that he does have a purpose. I used to think before that I was doing good trusting and having faith when my life was going so good. Then when you are hit with something that really turns your world upside down it's not so easy to be that same person you thought you were. I think the reason things happen in our life is to bring us closer to him and be able to be an example to others and be able to relate to people who are also hurting.

I have no other explanation as to why the day of my daughters surgery everything was so peaceful and she not once cried or even made a peep even for not eating for 6 hours straight.(what newborn does that?) I know for a fact that it was all the people praying for my daughter and know that he was there with us.

It's so strange that yesterday as I was reading this book in my backyard. As she talked about the day her daughter died April 7th, 2008 and how she was so amazed how peaceful that day went. How her daughter went ''home'' to be with Jesus I thought that day looked awfully familiar. It was the day that we got to bring Berlyn "home" with us after her surgery. For some reason that really hit me.

I would suggest anyone who is a Mother, was a Mother who has lost a child. Or you know someone who has lost a child or even going through other issues. This book is one you don't want to pass up. Really makes you view life a little different and realize how fragile it is.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers,

whenever you face trials of many kinds,

because you know that the testing

of your faith develops perseverance.

Perseverance must finish its work so that

you may be mature and complete,

not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

Do you think....

2010-04-29T22:53:00.001-07:00

I look like my brother?

Mommy sure does!

Fun at the Park

2010-04-24T09:07:00.001-07:00

Aven has a personality alot like his Mommy. We ALWAYS have to be doing something. If we get stuck in the house too long we aren't happy.

Yesterday he was in one of those moods and wouldn't stop whining. So I decided to walk them both over to the park and give us all a little break and some fresh air.

It's amazing how in 5 minutes you can go from this....

To this.

Everytime he'd come down the slide and climb back up he wanted to make sure I was there still watching him. He'd come up to the top and yell at the top of his lungs...."HI, MOM!"

Hi, Mom! See my hand?

Are you still there??

Took a little break in between slides.

Him and his "puppy" were back at it again.

Puppy even got a spin on the toys.

All the while precious Berlyn sat in her seat enjoying the nice sunny breeze.

GOING PRIVATE!

2010-04-20T18:58:00.000-07:00

I'm sad to say that I will be going private on my blog now. Someone decided to take pictures from both mine and my sisters blog and use them on her facebook and claim they were her kids and even by giving them different names. It's really sad that you have to be forced to even do something like this. I really do feel sorry for the girl.

I will be going private on Friday so if you wish to be added to my blog you can put a comment here with your email or you can email me to brigrl08@yahoo.com

Berlyn's Surgery

2010-04-13T09:38:00.000-07:00

April 6th is a day that I wont soon forget. I had a full week to prepare and research all about the surgery that was about to be performed on my little girl. I know to some that may seem like enough time but to me it wasn't. It came so fast and it really didn't all hit me till that morning when I woke up. I kept questioning myself thinking am I doing the right thing? Should I have got another opinion? I'm sure this is all normal questions for people going through this stuff but to me this was anything but.

I know it may seem strange but I kept thinking what if this is my last morning with her? What if she has a bad reaction to the anesthesia and doesn't make it out of surgery?? Have I given her the best life so far? Have I taken enough pictures of her?? I know it wasn't considered a MAJOR surgery but it was to me.

I made my sister come over early and take a few pictures of us before we left.

I was so nervous on how I was going to be able to go a full 6 hours without feeding her anything. Right now she eats at least every 2-3 hours. Right before we left I gave her a good feeding and put her in her car seat and she immediately spit up all over. OH GREAT! Now she's really gonna be hungry!

We had a quite ride to the hospital. I think we both had alot on our mind. We went to get a bite to eat cause I knew that it would be a long day of waiting and not wanting to eat. Of course I could only eat a few bites of my food cause I was so nervous.

My Mom and Grandma met us at the hospital for support. I'm so glad theywere there with me. It really helped the time go by alot faster while we waited the long 4 1/2 hours.

They took us to our own room where they gave me the worlds smallest hospital gown for Berlyn. I never knew they made them so small. I really wish that there would be no need to make those things but sadly there is. :(

The whole morning Berlyn had such a peace about her. I put her in the Moby Wrap (which I might add is the best invention ever made! Thank you Krystyn for making me get this.) She slept in that thing the WHOLE time. I had to finally wake her up to put her IV in.

Sleeping away in the Moby

Getting ready for the IV. She didn't even cry for this. I was so nervous they wouldn't find a vein or that she would be screaming. She was such a trooper.

We got to spend about another hour and a half with her before they took us back. Daddy just stood by her the whole time loving on her.

Even for this whole time she was so calm and peaceful. She was more alert this day than she has ever been. She was looking up at the lights and wondering where she was.

They finally escorted us out of the room and had us walk with her to the operating room. We came around the corner to the room they were going to do the procedure in and I think that's when it all hit me. Looking into that room with all the nurses and doctors and big tv's and equipment. It seemed like something I saw on an episode of the Jetsons when I was little. I couldn't believe that this was really happening.

I think this picture says so much. I look at this and think how scared and terrified I was.

(I would never be able to be a nurse. That hat is so not attractive)

I think she had the same thoughts.

We got to go into the room and lay her on the warm table. All the girl nurses came over and were in love with her. All I remember is them telling me that she will go to sleep super fast and not to be scared that it is normal. Next thing I know she was asleep and we were asked to leave. I was so strong until this time. I started to cry. It felt so strange to leave my baby with people I have never met. Knowing that they would be working on her tiny heart.

We were told the surgery would be about 2 hours and they would come get us and we would be able to go see her in the recovery area. I think that 2 hours might have been the longest two hours of my life. I tried to do anything to keep my mind off what might be going on in that operating room.

As soon as it hit two hours we all were starting to get anxious. My Mom would get up and walk down the hall by the room and make sure she was still in there. My grandma stood by the door waiting for any sign or movement. She even sat at the closest seat to the door to make sure we didn't miss anything :)

Finally the doctor came in and let us know that the surgery was over and that she is doing fine. He told us that once they got into her heart they said that the valve was worse off than they originally thought, but that they were able to do what they needed to do without any leakage (which is really good). Finally we were asked to go down by the room and she would be out in a few minutes.

She was wisked out of the room pretty fast and onto the recovery area. Only one parent was allowed to go in with her. I went in and got to spend some moments with her while she was waking up. I don't think I will ever be able to forget those moments with her. She was so out of it and had the softest little cry. The sounds of that room still give me the chills when I think about it.

After about an hour in that room they moved us to the NICU upstairs and Johnny finally got to be with her too. This was all such a relief to me that this all was behind us for now and that our little girl was here and doing well.

That night I couldn't sleep at ALL. I sat and starred at that cold metal crib making sure that she was ok and breathing. She would move a certain way and the heart monitor would go off. I would jump out of the bed and rush over and make sure everything was ok.

I had alot of time to think since I was there alone. It hit me that although Berlyn had to have this procedure done she was still ok. We would be picking up and going home the next day. So many sick kids on the same floor wont be so lucky. They may never be able to see the outside of this hospital again. I kept thinking that how one night staying at this hospital seemed like such a long time and there are parents that have been here for weeks even months away from their other children at home.

God had answered all of my prayers and kept my little girl safe. I know for a fact that this day wouldn't have gone as smooth as it did without all the people out there that love her and were praying for our little girl. Many people were praying for her hadn't even met her or even seen her but were praying. It meant so much to know that.

And unlike so many people in this hospital we got to leave.
I got to watch my husband and my son come and pick us up. What a beautiful sight it was to see this.

Letter to my baby girl!

2010-04-05T19:33:00.000-07:00

Nothing could have ever prepared me for the overwhelming love I have for my children. When I first cuddled my beautiful, soft, warm, sweet smelling girl in my arms, I knew I had fallen in love for the rest of my life. I was so worried when I first found out I was pregnant if I would be able to love another little human the way I loved your brother. I loved you even before you came into this world. The second you were born my heart was filled with even more love. You were perfect! I knew that, forevermore, I would again know fear, I would know worrying, and knowing I wanted to protect you with my life.

After getting the news last week that you had a problem with your heart I was devastated. How could this be? Being your Mom thoughts ran through my mind of every question. Will she still be able to live a long meaningful life and be able to do all the fun things little girls do? Will she look like me? Will she want to do ballet? Will she have my personality and like to play jokes on people? Will she grow up and get married and have a family of her own? Then I thought these are not questions that I will ever be able to answer. All I know is that you will live the life that God has called you to.

Tonight as I prepare to hand you over to doctors that I don't even know I want you to know that I love you more than anything in this world. I know you were special from the time you were born. I never would have imagined that only 7 weeks after you were born we would be going through all this with you. I don't have the answers as to why this is happening but I know you will get through all this. You are such a strong girl and I would take your place if I could.

My precious Berlyn, I delight in the joy of your simple existence.

Love,

Your Mom

Why my house will never be perfect with children..

2010-03-31T09:36:00.000-07:00

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Prayer for Berlyn

2010-03-30T21:48:00.000-07:00

Little did I know that only 5 months after writing this post that everything I wrote in that post would be tested.

Last weekend I took Berlyn for an small eye infection, when the doctor was checking her he asked me how her heart was. Why would he be asking me about her heart if I was here for her eye? He told me that it sounded abnormal and we would need to do some further testing. He sent her over for an xray right away and told me I should follow up with a specialist for an EKG. I was completely shocked and forgot all about the real reason I even went in. My sister went through this same thing with her daughter and I was pretty sure that this would be another case and they would tell me it would be something she would grow out of.

I called today to make the appointment just to rule out anything being wrong. I didn't expect them to tell me I should drive down today to bring her in and get checked out. I immediately called my Grandma to go with me knowing that if something bad were to happen I wanted someone there with me and to be able to have two ears.

The doctor came in who was super nice. He began listening to her heart and took awhile doing so. Seemed like the few minutes he was listening was lasting a lifetime. I was trying to read his expressions to see if this was going to be good or bad news. He said that he found an abnormality and wanted to go in the other room to take a better look. I just knew from that moment things weren't going to be good. I immediately wanted to stop right there and just cry but I bit my lip and went in.

After looking at her heart for about a half hour he told me that she has a condition called Aortic Stenosis and she has to go in on Tuesday for a procedure on her valve to try and enlarge it. Pretty much everything he said after that I was in a daze and tried to take as much information in as I could and not breakdown. I just looked at the doctor thinking HOW?! How could this be happening to my child who is sitting here asleep next to me looking so peaceful? As soon as he shut the door I broke down and cried. My Grandma tried to be strong for me but we both just sat and looked at her and cried.

I know things could be way worse. My baby is alive and breathing and before today I had no clue that anything was wrong with her. Before today I knew not one thing about a heart besides that it pumped blood. I had no idea when I woke up this morning I would have had a lesson in cardiology and be searching online what Aortic Stenosis was. It goes to show how your life can change in the matter of minutes.

As I am writing this she is laying in my lap fast asleep. On the outside she is so perfect yet that little heart inside her is struggling. As much as I want to be angry and question why this is happening to my baby and my family I can only trust that God is in control.

I know from the minute I found out I was pregnant with her that God had big plans for her life and I know that to still be true.

Please pray for her that everything will go well and that I will have the strength to get through this week and that day. I know she is in the best care that she can be and I know that above all she is in Gods hands.

”Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight”
Proverbs 3:5-6

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2010-03-17T16:45:00.000-07:00

Beach Day

2010-03-17T16:02:00.001-07:00

I was getting so tired of the gloomy rainy weather the past few weekends and I was so excited to finally have a weekend where it was nice.

I called my sister (Aven & Berlyn's 2nd Mom) on Monday and told her that we are taking OUR kids to the beach cause I needed to get out of the house and maybe get some color on this body. Nothing is better than being able to sit and watch your child play and actually be able to relax...well for a little while at least.

"Mom, why can't I pick up and eat everything that is on the ground?"

This child has no fear at all. I figured he would be too scared of the water and not want to go near it..... WRONG. Once he finally realized it was water and he was free to run toward it he did. I got tired of trying to chase after him and finally let a wave hit him. It knocked him down and he got right back up wanting some more. I had to pull this kid away kicking and screaming to get him out of the water.
Berlyn enjoying her first day at the beach in the nice ocean breeze.

Aven not enjoying the ocean breeze as much as his sister.

Checking to see if there are any hot babes that want to help build a sand castle :)

And even more sleeping by Berlyn. I'm pretty sure she didn't even know we went to the beach. haha

All the hard playing and trying to get away from Mommy wore someone out.

1 Month old

2010-03-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been a month since I last posted....well I guess I can. I have been keeping busy trying to spend as much time with the kids before I go back working. Which is March 25th. I will still be working from home but I know this will mean less time to do alot of the stuff I've been doing now. So my time has been spent as much as I can with them. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to pull it all off but I guess we will see when the time comes.

I've started to get adjusted to life with two little ones. Most my days are spent changing diapers and feeding and trying to fit in a shower or go to the bathroom without having company :) Who wouldn't want this kind of company following your around all day though?

Being a Mom is probably the tuffest job I'll ever have but it's the most rewarding job I'll ever have too. I thought the time went fast when I had Aven but it seems to go twice as fast when you add another one into the mix. I wake up some mornings and think how could a month have gone by so fast?!?!

Berlyn has been such a good baby for me. She loves to eat and loves to sleep.

When she is awake which is not very often she loves for Mommy to talk to her and loves to smile.

She is getting bigger and bigger everyday. I really wish time could freeze still and let me enjoy them being little for longer :( Hopefully I will be able to update a little more often than once a month.

She's Here!

2010-02-20T14:15:00.000-08:00

After my doctors appointment on Tuesday I could barely stand up straight and walk without having contractions. I called my husband to see if he was almost home from work because I was having a hard time keeping an eye on Aven while I was having contractions.

He finally got home and I went upstairs because I was in so much pain. I was having strong contractions again every 10 min. I would get up and walk around or take a bath to try and get them to go away but they weren't. Of course my husband was super concerned and made sure he was downstairs watching Lost on tv while I was upstairs about to give birth...(at least it felt that way) I guess he finally heard the screaming or yelling and decided he should probably come upstairs, after the show was over of course.

He got out his note pad and timer and volunteered to time the contractions for me since I wasn't able to concentrate on anything else at the moment. (what a guy!) I turn over to face him in between my next contraction only to find him with his eyes closed. I really couldn't believe what I was seeing. How can the man that is responsible for all this pain to begin with is able to just drift off to sleep while his wife is pulling out her hair next to him. I really wanted to give him a good wack in the head but instead I took a picture of him so I could show everyone how concerned he was :)

I was able to tough it out till about 3:00 in the morning when I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I was going back to the hospital and wasn't going to leave again. Security was going to have to carry me out this time.

My Mom came over to watch Aven and we headed off to the hospital. I text my sister Bridget who was on her way to the airport in Tennessee to fly out here. . I was actually supposed to pick them up from the airport but Berlyn had other plans. I figured that my sister would make it in plenty of time since her plane landed at 10:30 that morning and I figured my labor would be just as long if not longer than Aven.

We got to the hospital and to my great surprise it was the nurse from the night before. She took one look at me when she walked in the room and said now it looks like your really in labor. If I could have got up out of the wheelchair to slap her I would have. I was in to much pain to care. She let me know that if I wasn't at least a 4 or 5 cm they would probably be sending me home. She checked me and let me know I was almost 2 cm! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! All those contractions and I only progressed 1/2 a cm?!?! She but the contraction monitor and heart rate monitor on me and my contractions were a consistant 4 min apart. How could they possibly send me home when I'm in so much pain? As soon as the heart monitor kicked on and I had my next contraction I could hear the babies heart beat dip super low. I asked the nurse if that's what I think it was and she said Yes it was and it looks like they will be keeping me now. FINALLY!!!

Thank God the stupid nurse had an emergency c-section to help out with and that was the last we saw of her. We got a new nurse who I fell in love with right away. She immediately came in and got me more pillows and made sure I was comfortable and told me that she would get the doctor in as soon as he was done with surgery to give me an epidural. He finally got there around 6:00 and gave me the epidural. WOW!!! What a difference. When I had Aven the two epidurals I got never worked right so it was a nice surprise to see that I couldn't feel anything.

The doctor that was on call came in around 9:00 to check me and said I was at about 4cm now. She went ahead and broke my water and said that my doctor should be in around 12 PM and should be here to deliver me. About 15 min later I begin to feel my contractions again and thought oh great the epidural is wearing off like it did with Aven. I told the nurse and she said that if I want to hit the epidural button it will give me an extra boost of medication. So I said OF COURSE. After a few minutes it didn't get any better so the nurse said I better check you again to see where your at. She checked me and couldn't believe that I was already 9 1/2 CM and almost ready to push. She went and got the doctor that broke my water who was still making her morning rounds to come in and deliver the baby.

All I can say that if I hadn't have had to labor at home for 2 days this would have been the best delivery. After my epidural it was really such a great experience. When I was getting ready to deliver the emotions in the room were so great. We were all cracking jokes and laughing. I couldn't believe that I was feeling so great about to have a baby.

After 3 pushes Miss Berlyn Marie Adams entered the world at 9:52 AM on 2/10/10. All the worrying that I had about how I would be able to handle and love two babies was not even a concern. As soon as they placed her in my arms I felt so complete. It was love at first sight.

The past week has gone by so fast as I knew it would. Even though I wanted to shoot my husband the other day he really has been such a big help with everything and I love him even more than I did before she was born. Being a family of 3 was great but having 4 seems so much different I feel like we are more of a family that ever before. I didn't think Aven would take to her as well as he has but he loves his sissy so much already. I'm so excited to see them grow up together and be such great friends.

The end is near

2010-02-09T16:25:00.001-08:00

Well the last few days have been alot of fun to say the least.

We had my parents and sister and her husband over to watch the Super Bowl game on Sunday and although I was excited to get to hang out I couldn't get over the fact that I was still pregnant and miserable.

I decided that I would do my own super bowl half time show and drink a special drink with a little Castor oil in hopes of getting something going.
*I am not a doctor, I am a desperate pregnant woman who has no medical back round. If you are pregnant and chose to do the same thing you are on your own. If you are not a pregnant woman or have never been pregnant please don't judge me. You will never know what you might be capable of when your desperate*

Down the hatch it went.....

If you've never tried drinking this stuff I don't recommend it. Only thing I can compare it to would be drinking a glass full of melted lipsticks.

After about 3 hours of trying not to puke it all back up and nothing happening. I figured that once again my many attempts at inducing my own labor have failed and I would just have to finally come to the conclusion that I am not in control of what happens. I decided to get ready for bed.

1:30 in the morning rolls around and I get woke up by some really strong contractions. I started timing them and they were about 10 min apart. I didn't think anything of it and tried to sleep in between them. Finally I got so annoyed I got up around 6:00 and they were about 6-7 min apart. They remained that way pretty much the rest of the morning with a few breaks in between. Finally my sister and one of my friends told me I should probably go in. I really didn't want to go because I know my body and knew when I got there I would be told to go back home. I knew if I was told to do that I would be even more devastated and miserable.

My sister and I got to the hospital around 3:00 PM and they monitored me for about 3 hours and told me that my contractions were in fact about 6-7 min apart but that I was only dilated to 1cm..... WHAT A SURPRISE!! So, they said in a nice way that I could either stay there and chose to labor for the next 3 months or I could go to dinner and stay close to the hospital and see if they got stronger and more frequent. If they did they told me I should probably come back again.

Well after dinner we figured we might as well go home cause everything pretty much stayed the same at dinner. Once I got in the car they got super painful. My sister knew that it was bad cause she said once I stop cracking jokes she knows it's bad. Brenda and Johnny said I should probably go back in and have them check me just in case. I was in tears and really didn't want to go back in cause I pretty much knew what they were gonna tell me.

We had to go through the whole registration process again and they hooked me back up and I was still contracting but they checked me again and once again I was still not dilating. I was in alot of pain but the nurse told me that they were going to have to send me home once again. She then asked me (as I was trying to put on my shoes and feeling like I was being stabbed in the gut with a knife) "What's wrong, are you frustrated?" FRUSTRATED?!?!?! I think that might have been slight understatement. Not only am I in horrible pain but I've had to spend my night down at the hospital away from my son and be told that the last 20 hours of pain have only dilated me to 1cm!!!!! Yeah I think I'm frustrated!

We headed back home and I was crying in and out of contractions the whole way home. I took a Tylenol PM which knocked me out for a few hours but I still was in and out of pain all night.

I did see my doctor today and he told me that I am about 2 cm now and if nothing happens before Thursday morning he will be inducing me then.

Hopefully sometime by Thursday or Friday our baby will be here!

As much as I don't want to get the same nurse that I had, I would love to see how frustrated she'd be if I decided to drink that Castor oil again before I go in Thursday morning :)

40 weeks today... and no signs of baby

2010-02-05T08:03:00.001-08:00

Still pregnant!!

Turkey is Done!

2010-02-03T11:17:00.001-08:00

At least it feels that way. I don't think my belly button can stretch any further.

I am pretty much at my breaking point today. I know my due date isn't until Friday but I am ready to throw in the towel. I woke up yesterday with a stiff neck, which makes driving even more fun when you can't turn as it is with a HUGE belly. I had my doctors appointment yesterday which gave me no news of any progress which I expected. He told me that he would see me back on Tuesday and we will discuss inducing me at that point. I know I probably sounded rude when I said "Well, I hope I don't have to see you then." I'm sure it was the pregnancy hormones talking.

This weekend I was pretty desperate and was trying just about anything to get things going. With no such luck : /

I have some really awesome friends that have made things a little brighter for me though.

When I was pregnant with Aven I went to my friends house warming party and they had this fruit pie there which I hate to say I probably ate half of. Well that ended up being the last thing I ate before Aven was born. My water broke that night and I was sure it was due to that pie :) I couldn't eat for 24 hours since I was in labor the whole time so that was all I could think of was that pie.

My friend Sommer came by on Sunday and brought me over a whole fruit pie to myself. She was hoping that it would do the trick again...no such luck!

Even if it didn't do the trick it sure made one preggo lady very happy :)

Today I got a surprise visit from my friend Ashlynn. She came by and dropped off some carrot cake balls with frosting on them. I guess these girls really know how to make me happy or are just tired of hearing me complain. :)

I know I really can't complain too much cause I know in a few short days (I hope) she will be here and I will look back and miss being pregnant...but for now I WANT MY BABY!!

Hopefully my next post will be announcing the birth of my baby and not one from my husband telling you what mental hospital you can send my desserts too.

Funeral

2010-01-30T18:31:00.000-08:00

Today I went with my Mom to a funeral for a friend she knew through work/church daughter. I heard the story and my heart broke for the family.

They lost their little girl on Tuesday. She was only 29 days older than Aven and the Mom is expecting another baby in June. Their situation really hit home since our babies are so close in age.

I wasn't sure if I should even go because I know how I am and I get super emotional but for some reason I really felt I needed to go. I am so glad that I did.

We first got to the church and I told myself to try and hold it together and was being so strong. As soon as we walked in the door and I saw all her toys, (some the same that my own son plays with) on the table along with pictures and memories of her short, life I lost it. I went in the bathroom and didn't think I could pull myself together enough to even go back out to the service. I finally did and we went to sit down and I felt a little better....until the service began.

Her Dad got up and spoke and was such an inspiration. I'm sure horror probably overwhelmed him. Heartache certainly overtook him. Yet heaven overshadowed him. Instead of him being upset and questioning why God would take his little girl home so early he stood up there with such peace cause he knew his baby was in the arms of her real father. That peace surpassing all understanding can only come from a God who is alive and can be touched with our feelings. That feeling of security enabled him to get up there and show everyone there the amazing amount of trust he had and that he still believed even in the darkest time.

He spoke about the time they found out they were expecting till the last day he spent with her and how she wanted her Daddy to hold her cause she wasn't feeling good.

As a parent you always want to think you will out live your children, but that is not always the case. Whether you lose them in the womb, or at the age 2, or 50 they are still your baby. It's so hard to even comprehend why things like this happen to people and why God would take a baby at such a young age. We will never know these things this side of Heaven.

It was such a great reminder that our children are on loan from God. We never know when he will decide to take them back home.

When you experience that kind of tragedy and still stand proud with Jesus by your side, that action alone is enough to make anyone going through a problem to reconsider the pain, count the cost and still say "I still believe too."

20 more days (or so)

2010-01-15T15:01:00.000-08:00

I have been totally slacking on my blog lately. Things have been moving so fast here at the Adams House. We've been trying to get prepared for our little one to arrive and Johnny has been out of town.

I really can't believe that this pregnancy is almost gone. It's been bitter sweet. I keep thinking this could possibly be my last pregnancy for all I know. I get emotional when I think that Aven will no longer be the baby in the family. I look at him and to me he still seems so small and now he will be a big brother.

I am so excited to meet our little girl and yet so scared and anxious and wonder how I will be able to handle all of it and make sure I give them both the attention they need. I want to be able to take it all in and enjoy this special time with my babies. It goes by so fast. :(

I finally decided on a name after many months of changing my mind. Her name is going to be Berlyn. Now lets pray that it doesn't come out a boy or he might not have a name for the first few months of his life jk

Christmas

2009-12-29T09:48:00.000-08:00

Well I actually made it through Christmas this year! WOO HOO. I was starting to feel like I was never gonna get anything done but I did. We had a really great Christmas. Aven was the only kid at Christmas eve this year. Which will probably be the only year again he'll be the only kid. He missed all his cousins but I think he secretly loved being the center of attention.

I think his Aunt knows him all too well and got him this shirt. :)

Every year Santa comes to visit us on Christmas Eve. This year ~~Santa~~ my sister came to visit Aven.

I think Aven thought it was as funny as we did that the Santa actually had boobs.

Santa even came back to visit and brought Aven a bunch of nice gifts.

He went straight for the quad Santa brought him and pushed the button down full force. The dogs were running trying to get out of the way of Aven Knievel. After driving full speed into the tree a few times he decided to open up the rest of his gifts.

After opening up gifts we headed up to my Grandmas house for her famous Italian food. Aven loved her food and love the desserts even more. Must take after his Mother.

Grandpa sneaking the boys some dessert. s

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! Now back to the grind trying to get everything done and finished be for our unnamed baby arrives.

33 Weeks

2009-12-17T17:28:00.001-08:00

And looking like I'm gonna explode. Thanks to Courtney for these PJ's that I practically live in now they are so comfy.

Week 33

You're large, but you most definitely don't feel in charge, since the baby seems to be completely taking over your body...up several times a night to go to the bathroom? It's all just practice for getting up in the wee hours for feedings, changings and general fussiness. The one difference: Cuddling that babe in your arms for a feeding is way better than heaving yourself to the bathroom for the sixth time—in the dark.

What You're Thinking:

"Isn't there anywhere you could stand besides on my bladder, baby?"

Getting closer and closer. Can't wait to meet our little girl!

Visit to Oak Glen

2009-12-17T16:39:00.000-08:00

This weekend my Mom was watching my brothers kids who we don't get to see often enough. We tried to take them somewhere to have some fun while they were here. We drove out to Oak Glen to eat lunch and hang out for a couple hours. Little did we know when we got there it was practically all closed except a few places. We still managed to have a good time. Another one of my great ideas :)

Aven enjoying some yogurt. My sister wanted to do his hair this day so thats why it is out of control. I still think it looks cute though :)

Aven's cousin Cylis. He is so cute. I think they look alot alike. Even the hair do. ha

I got to test out my new double stroller. You don't realize how heavy these things can get with two kids a whole bunch of crap loaded in them.

By the looks on their faces they were a little surprised by my strolling skills. I guess I stroll like I drive.

Wow, can you believe Aven was actually in a bad mood trying to go run off down the hill by himself? He didn't want to sit and take pictures....as you can tell.

What were we thinking trying to get them all to sit and be good kids for some pictures?

Visit to Santa

2009-12-17T16:21:00.000-08:00

Today I took Aven to go see Santa (my friends step Dad). I was so paranoid taking him cause Aven has a new thing and he likes to pull hair. I was afraid he was gonna rip Santa's beard off in front of all the other kids and ruin their Christmas. Thank God he was too scared to pull his beard. I think I'm gonna start dressing up with a white beard on so he wont pull my hair anymore. Or just stop getting waxed. haha jk

Santa was even nice enough to compare bellies with me to see whose was bigger.... I think I win by a long shot.
Aven was playing Mr. tuff guy at first and acting like he wasn't scared.

Until Santa picked him up.

I know most Mom's would probably feel bad seeing their son scream and hold their breathe cause they are scared of Santa but I actually couldn't stop laughing. Bad Mom!

Anyway, we hope everyone is enjoying getting ready for Christmas!

1st trip to the snow..and one I wont soon forget!

2009-12-09T22:30:00.001-08:00

We recently had a ton of rain here and I thought it would be a good idea to go up to the mountains the next day cause I knew there would be alot of fresh snow. My sister had the day off of work so I figured we could go up since Aven had never been to the snow.

She called me from Target and asked me if Aven had any snow clothes. I told her that he didn't but I would put enough layers of clothes on him he would be fine. Of course she bought him a bunch of snow gear for the trip and even bought him a toy to play with so he didn't get bored and bought a Christmas sing along CD for the trip.

We headed up to Mt. Baldy and the day was looking like it would be a great one.

The drive up was so pretty and I was so happy that I thought of such a great way to spend our day.

As soon as we got out of the car Aven was loving all the snow.

My sister even brought her baby with us.

Aven would pick up handfuls of the snow and start eating it and look at us and say..."It's good!"

Yummmm

We spent about an hour playing in the snow. We all started to get a little cold and decided we better get going before the sun goes down.

Say bye, bye to the snow!

This is when I realized that my idea of going to the mountains 7 months pregnant with a toddler and a dog didn't seem like the greatest idea I had come up with.

As we were walking back to the car getting all our stuff off I hear my sister say, "OH MY GOD." I look back and she said. "I have the keys to your car not mine." "WHAT?, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

"Great, what are we going to do?" I said. Both our cell phones were locked in her car..(not that you can get service up there) We stood there for a few minutes wondering how the heck this could be. We were both freezing and Aven was starting to get fussy. I immediately thought that we were all going to be on that show I survived, or be on the 6 o'clock news when they realize we are missing.

I told her that we better think of something fast because the clouds are rolling in and it's gonna get dark soon. So there was really only one thing for us to do. We had to start walking to get help. Since I declined the offer to get real snow boots earlier in the day I was wearing normal tennis shoes which I have discovered aren't made for pregnant woman holding babies walking in the snow. I looked like Bambi learning how to walk and almost fell a few times.

We walked to this house/cabin/snack bar that some guy owns and asked if there was a way we could use his phone or if he had something we could get into the car with. Of course we had no money and couldn't buy the slim jim that he had so she gave him MY car keys for collateral so he would know we'd come back to pay him. So we take another walk back up the hill to try and break into her car. Apparently Chino High didn't teach me much cause we had no luck getting in the car.

This time I decided to stay with Aven and the Dog at the car and she made the trip back to the guys house to figure out a plan C. By this time Aven was super cranky and getting hungry and cold. He started crying and decided to head butt me in the lips which made start bleeding. I was almost in tears thinking "what else can go wrong today?" I came so close to breaking her window and getting in the car.

Finally, she comes back up the hill and lets me know that her husband is on his way with the keys and the guy said that we can come down and stay inside his cabin/snack shop to keep warm until he shows up. So I make the trip back down the hill carrying Aven and trying not to fall.

I ended up hanging out in this snack shop for about an hour talking to this guy and hoping that Aven didn't get us kicked out of there with his screaming. Finally her husband gets there and we were able to get in her car. We paid the guy for the slim jim and he sent us on our way with our free hot coco. FINALLY we were on our way back home and our day would be over.

Or so I thought..... We made the drive back down the hill and got to the bottom when my sister asked me if I got my keys back from Mr. Mountain man....UMMMM NO??? I thought you got them? UMMMM NO.

So we had to drive back up the mountain once again and get the keys to my car. Mr. Mountain man was happy to see me again and sent us back on our way with more hot coco.

We finally ended up getting home when it was dark but we did make it home.

I wont be thinking of any more great ideas anytime soon.

All in all we had a good time and I will not soon forget Aven's first trip to the mountains. He had a good time and that's all that mattered :)

Baby Shower

2009-12-09T21:40:00.001-08:00

This past Sunday was my Baby shower. We had it at my house. All I can say is that I have the best friends and family.

My shower events actually started Saturday when my best friend Courtney came over to help and stayed the night. It was like being in high school again and we were both excited to spend time together which doesn't happen often enough.

She was so cute, she called me and was like, "I got us matching Pajamas that match the theme of the shower!" (which was circus) She showed up and sure enough she bought us both zebra print pajamas. I am truly so blessed to have a friend like her. She is like another sister to me...and she even looks like me :) Aven was actually super nice to her he probably thought she was me except I'm half the size. ha She did so much for me to make my day so special and I can't thank her enough. She even did my hair and makeup for the shower and even picked out what I was going to wear.

We stayed up late fixing up the house and decorating.

My friend from high school made this cake to match the theme. She did such a great job and the cake was sooooo good!

I am so lucky to have so many great friends. My friend Marisa (left) made all the sandwiches for the party which I have been eating for the past three days. My friend Torie (right) made some appetizers that were to die for. Everything turned out awesome.
My friend Sommer who made all the take home bags that turned out so cute!

My Mom and I. I am so lucky to have her. She has helped me so much. She bought me the crib and also helped me finish the nursery and paint it.

My friend Krystyn.....I was so excited she came. She had her 3rd daughter only 3 weeks ago and was running on only hours of sleep. What a trooper. I even got to finally meet precious Austyn :)

As I was opening all the gifts it still didn't seem real that I am having a girl. I still don't think it's real. All this pink stuff couldn't possibly be for my daughter? Maybe it's not. ha

I was so upset when I realized the next day that I didn't even get any pictures with my sister Brenda. I made her take pictures of everything and didn't even get one of us. My sister totally spoiled Miss Alexa and bought her a ton of cute clothes and even bought me the double stroller I wanted.

I had such a fun time and can't believe that in a few short weeks she will be here. Thank you so much to everyone who came to the shower and made my day so special. (sorry if I didn't get a picture with everyone but you are ALL special to me!) I am so blessed to have such great friends in my life.

I will post more pictures later of all the cute stuff Alexa got for her shower. She even got two fur coats! What a lucky girl!

Christmas

2009-12-04T11:51:00.000-08:00

Letter from Jesus about Christmas

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season. How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own.

I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn if all my followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8.

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it:

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing the President complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up... It will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary-- especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.

9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.

10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.

Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember :

I LOVE YOU,
JESUS

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Merry Christ-mas and warmest wishes for a Happy, Healthy and Wonder-filled New Year

Maternity Pics

2009-12-01T23:18:00.001-08:00

I finally decided I better do maternity pictures before it gets to late. I wanted to do something to look a little westerny (if that's even a word). My sister took a whole bunch of pictures and I think these are the only ones that I liked. Most of the pictures I ended up looking like an actual farm animal.

We had a fun day. We went out to a friends ranch and Aven enjoyed seeing all the horses and playing in the hay. He calls all the animals puppies.

I still can't believe how fast this pregnancy has gone by. I am learning to enjoy it as best I can even if I might be in pain or have a hard time chasing Aven around. Nothing beats the feeling of your baby kicking around and moving knowing in just a few short months she will be here. I feel so blessed!

hmmmm....I wonder when my life will be this peaceful again??

17 Months

2009-11-30T11:15:00.000-08:00

What I am up to these days.

Well now that I am 17 months, I know that I am able to do everything on my own. I like to test my Mom to see what she will do if I try and hit her. She always tells me no, which I have found to be a funny thing and love to tell her that back all the time.

I love to watch my Mom who has for some reason gained some weight the past 7 months. She isn't as fast as she used to be and I enjoy trying to watch her chase after me.

She likes to bring this lady around with her all the time who they call Nanny. My Mom says she is her life saver. I like to test Nannies patience out too and see if she still thinks I'm cute when I pull her hair when we are in the store or pinch her face. It's crazy I keep doing it and she still tells me she loves me!

I also like to make her chase after me since my Mom is slow these days. You should see this, it's pretty funny!

My Mom always says it's a good thing that I am cute because I sure like to give her a hard time.

Do you see what she means?

I also hear that I have a new name and it's Big Brother. I'm not really sure what that means yet but I have a feeling that something strange is going on. My Mom keeps trying on these silly hats and bows on me and laughing. I can't wait to see what all this is about.

Although I can be a bad boy sometimes I know my Mom and Dad love me so much and would do anything for me. They say they can't believe how big I am now and how I have become such a fun kid to be around. I have to say that even though I can be a handful at times I love them too!

Missing in Action

2009-11-24T08:51:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't posted in awhile I've been super busy lately. I'm assuming once the new baby comes along I probably wont ever blog. haha Aven has reached his early terrible twos and it is not pretty. He has started hitting and pinching. It is becoming really embarrassing. I am only hoping this is a phase. Everyone wonders why I haven't gained 40 lbs like I did with Aven, if you spend 5 minutes with me you can understand why. :) Although with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up and all the good food I will be right up to where I was with him. ha

As some of you know my sister and her family are going to be traveling the United States and are leaving this morning. We went over on Saturday to my Moms and I helped watch the kids and spend some time with them before they left. It was super hard to say goodbye knowing I wont see them till probably sometime this summer and to think that my baby will be almost 6 months! I do have to give my sister credit though cause I could not do what she's doing. I'm pretty sure if it was our family I would be having to drop Aven and Johnny off somewhere along the way. :) We will miss them!

Here is Aven and all his cousins hanging out before they had to leave :(

Halloween 09

2009-11-06T10:32:00.001-08:00

I always think that it will be so fun to dress up every year especially since Aven is still little and I can still get away with a family theme. I always think that until the day of Halloween comes and I realize how stupid I turn out looking. At least I can look back and know I did it all for the sake of my kids and to make it fun for them. :)

Here is the Cave family and their baby Dinosaur.

Aven and Aunt Brenda...Two babies

We got to see a firework show at the church which if you can't tell by the look on Aven's face he loved it!

Aven had alot of fun eating candy and helping Mommy eat all the food she had to get :)

27 Weeks

2009-11-06T10:24:00.000-08:00

Sorry haven't updated much lately. My father in law is in from out of town this week so we've been pretty busy. I started working part time from home which I am liking alot more. I've found I can get alot more done around the house. Today I am 27 weeks pregnant. I can't believe how fast time is flying by. I'm hoping to get some maternity pictures with my face actually in the picture but the way I look today I am sparing you.

27 Weeks Pregnant

I even had enough spare time to try out some sewing. I've been saying since I found out I was having a girl I needed to learn to sew and start making her stuff. This is my attempt at making a dress. It's not all that great but I'm learning. I might actually start getting better in time to make her prom dress. HA yeah right.

Thinking of having kids??

2009-10-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

Do This 10 Step Program First

Lesson 1

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline
2. Lack of patience
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels
4. Allowing their children to run wild
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 2

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approx. 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down gently, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at midnight and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1am.
4. Set alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45.
7. Get up at 3am when alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4am.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive.)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 3

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 4

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus in the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this- all morning.

Lesson 5

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle Cheerios all over the floor, them smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 6

Go to the grocery store. Take the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 7

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a 9 month-old baby.

Lesson 8

Learn the names of every character from all shows on PBS, the Disney Channel and Noggin. Watch nothing else on TV but shows from these channels for at least 5 years. (I know, you're thinking "what is Noggin?") Exactly the point.

Lesson 9

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 10

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from lesson 9 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

But somehow at the end of the day a smile and a peanut buttery messy kiss makes it all worth it!

Cute for a Cause

2009-10-27T14:13:00.001-07:00

My friend Heather who I oddly enough know from babycenter.com. I got to know her when I was pregnant with Aven. She has the cutest little girl named Brynlee who is Aven's age. She is such a sweet girl. We seem to have alot in common. Not only is her daughter the same age as Aven but her husband is also a Marine :)

She started a company called http://www.cuteforacause.org. I ordered some stuff for Berlyn/Alexa/or whatever her name is going to be from her. ha She does such an awesome job with the quality of all her stuff and it's cheap too! If you have a little girl or know a little girl head on over and take a look.

Here are just a few of the things I got in the mail for our little girl the other day. So excited!!

I tried to get a picture of Aven wearing one of the bows to show you all what our future daughter might look like but he wanted none of it and ripped it out right away. I guess I am happy about that :)

Crib Bedding

2009-10-27T10:23:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited I've made my first big purchase for the baby today! I had been looking ALL over for bedding to match the colors I'm doing her room in and have had the hardest time. Today I found the perfect one! Lets just hope that it is still a girl or he will have a really cute room. ha It's finally starting to hit me that we will have another baby in about 14 more weeks!!! Better get hot on finishing the room.

Names..Please Vote

2009-10-22T21:24:00.001-07:00

Well I found a couple names that I like but would like your input. I have added a poll ---> to the side of my blog with the two names that I like. You might not like them cause I tend to have a weird taste. I am still open for suggestions if you simply hate both of those names :)

Why?

2009-10-22T15:53:00.000-07:00

”Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He will make your paths straight”

Proverbs 3:5-6

It's so hard sometimes to understand why bad things happen to good people. The past few months have been pretty hard. I have at times questioned why God would chose for certain people to go through things or bear the burden of so much at one time. The past few months have brought some horrible news from a few of our loved ones. I haven't said much cause I really didn't know what to say or how to say it. I am not a good writer by any means but if you know me well enough I do have a big heart and I tend to let things bother me emotionally. I hate to see anyone hurting or in pain. I remember as a kid we would be driving somewhere and if I happened to see an animal dead in the road I would cry and feel so bad. Although I don't cry anymore when I see an animal dead in the street, that still child like heart comes out when I hear or see bad things happening and I have a hard time dealing. I feel like I need to be there and try and fix everything . I guess I got that from my Mothers side of the family.

What do you say to a family going through so much all at one time. Why would God chose this family to go through so much and not me? Why would he allow me to have a healthy baby, and yet not someone else? Why would he chose for my husbands father to have cancer and not mine? I don't have the answer for these tuff questions.

I do know that God allows things to happen for HIS reasons, whether or not we understand them. Above all, however, we must remember that God is good, just, loving and merciful. Often things happen to us that we simply can't and understand. Instead of doubting God's goodness, our reaction should be to trust him. Not just say you trust him but REALLY trust him. I think alot of times when your not the one going through trials it's pretty easy to say that you trust God, but when your the one in despair and your world is rocked it's alot easier to doubt that trust.

After this week I remembered a video that I saw about a year ago that really made me think and really encouraged me. Although I have never had to go through anything like this in my life it was very uplifting to watch. I'm sure some of you are familiar with this story and may have already seen this video. For anyone who hasn't I recommend watching it.

It is long, but I recommend taking the time to watch it. It will cause you to live differently. You will hug your kids differently. You will love your spouse differently. You will trust God differently.

Smith Family Story from Cross Point Church on Vimeo.

To read more about their story you can visit Angie's blog here.

I would like to ask you to pray for me. Pray for our friends who are going through so much and for the long journey ahead. Pray for them to find the strength to get through this bump in their lives. Pray for them and their child to have peace and a fighting spirit. If God was able to create this child he is also able to heal this child.

Please also pray for my father in law who is also battling. Please pray that when he goes back in December for his results that we get good news.

Thanks to all of you who actually read down this far :)

Nice Surprise

2009-10-22T15:06:00.001-07:00

A little bit ago I decided to take my lunch break (I work from home so it's not really a break) I usually take this time to get things done around the house or usually get ready for the day. ha Today I needed to get some chores done around the house and wasn't looking forward to it cause I'm in pain.

I sucked it up and began my duties. Shortly after the door bell rang. The UPS man was here! I love when he comes. I opened the door to find a big huge box from Target. Hmmm I know I didn't order anything from Target so I was even more excited. Anything from Target is always a plus. It had my husbands name on it so I thought oh great...he finally ordered the warming toilet seat for himself. jk

Much to my surprise it wasn't anything for him. It was for MEEE!! My oh so thoughtful husband had sent me a gift and it's not even my birthday yet!

I have been mentioning how I need to get a baby book for our little girl on the way for sometime but have been putting it off. So he took it upon himself to order one for me. He did such a good job I really like it. Can't wait to start filling it all out. Hopefully I can pick a name soon.

The next item in the box was this lovely pregnancy pillow. I'm sure he has taken a hint every time I'm in bed complaining how I don't have enough pillows and end up stealing his. I'm sure he's hoping he will actually be able to get some sleep and not have to hear his wife moan and groan like she's in labor already. I'm sure if that doesn't work he can just put it over my face and not be able to hear me complain. haha

Thank you honey for the lovely gifts. Sure made my day! Love you!!

Pumpkin Patch

2009-10-22T13:03:00.001-07:00

Last night we took Aven to a pumpkin patch near our house. We thought about doing the big huge pumpkin patch at Cal Poly like we did last year but since I pretty much can only waddle around for a few minutes without being in pain we thought we'd keep it a little more simple. It was cool though we were the only ones at the whole patch. ha

Aven was excited and confused. So many pumpkins to chose from.

Hmm Daddy I think this one looks good...what do you think?? Maybe you can put me on top and see if this is the one I like.

Yeah, I think this one might be be too big for me Dad.

I think these ones are more my size.

This one looks good!

Dad, do you need help pushing these to the car?

Do the Monster Mash...or something.

2009-10-19T10:44:00.000-07:00

Well for awhile now I have wanted to decorate Aven's bathroom but didn't know what I wanted to do with it. Then when I found out I was pregnant again I figured I better get going on it soon. I couldn't think of anything that would be good for a boy and girl bathroom so I kept putting it off. I finally found something that I thought was different and figured I could do something cute with it. So even though I can barely walk I managed to get the bathroom done. I have a few minor things left to do but it's almost done.

My sister Brenda came over and helped me paint. Thanks Brenda :)

I painted a growth chart behind the door to track the growing kids.

Pregnancy Brain

2009-10-15T14:54:00.000-07:00

I really do hate to admit that I am capable of doing such stupid stuff sometimes when I'm pregnant but I am guilty.
It's kinda scary knowing I have a 15 month old child that I am responsible for. :)

24 weeks (-2 days)

2009-10-14T15:07:00.001-07:00

Alot of people have been asking me to post pictures of my belly. It's actually pretty sad I probably have only a few pictures of my belly this pregnancy. I'm not sure why. With Aven I bought a book and took a picture of my belly every single week. I guess it's because I don't really think I have a cute pregnant belly right now. Looks more like I drank too many beers and cinnamon rolls (although I am guilty of the cinnamon roll part). I need to get in the habit of taking more pictures. You never know this could be my last pregnancy :/

(yes I am still wearing my comfy pajama pants at 3:30 in the afternoon. Don't judge me)

This pregnancy has been alot different than with Aven. If I hadn't gained 40 lbs and got big huge cankles and snausage feet I would have never known I was pregnant. I never got any morning sickness or headaches. This one I've had headaches all the time. I've been sick two times. I have also been dealing with a new issue the past few months called Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction (SPD)

The past week I have been in alot of pain. It hurts to walk, hurts to climb the stairs, hurts when I try to carry Aven anywhere. It's really is driving me crazy. Sometimes at night I'm almost in tears just trying to flip over. I feel like a beached whale and I'm not even to the end yet! I really don't think my husband understand how much pain I really am in. I'm sure he thinks I'm trying to milk this pregnancy for all it's worth. Which in some cases I might be, this is not one of them. :)

My OB basically told me that it is not uncommon for pregnant women to experience this and that I basically need to just deal with it nothing can be done. I really have no idea what I would do if I actually had a job that required any manual labor or being on my feet.

The good news is that I happened to be sitting next to a Physical Therapist at dinner one night a few weeks ago and we got on the subject of my pregnancy and he told me that he specializes in my issue and actually works with one of the top doctors of the hospital I'll be delivering at. I was so happy to finally talk to someone who says they have an answer. I was feeling like I was getting no where. Of course my insurance doesn't cover me going to a specialist like this. He basically told me that is why my doctor was playing dumb and didn't suggest a specialist. So I will have to pay it out of pocket. The guy was so sweet and told me he will treat me for super cheap. He felt really bad for me and told me that his wife who has 5 kids had the same issue. He said that some days the pain was so bad she couldn't even stand up.

I will be meeting with him on Saturday and will hopefully start to feel some relief. If not, I will be one of the ladies who rides around in the free motorized carts at walmart when I need to go grocery shopping.

Besides all that everything is going good. The baby is growing and loves to kick me in my bladder lately. She still doesn't have a name and if I don't do something soon I have a feeling I will be choosing from the list Faith gave me a few weeks ago.

Made me Smile

2009-10-14T12:38:00.000-07:00

I'm sure most of you that read my blog know my sister and know that her and her family will soon be picking up and hitting the road soon to travel around the United States. Although I know I will miss all them terribly I am happy to see all the fun memories that are in store for them. We are a really close family and the thought of someone in the family leaving terrifies everyone. We all know they will be back soon enough but being so close it's gonna be hard.

Everyone keeps emailing me or asking me how I feel about them leaving cause they all know how close we are. Of course I am sad but I know it's only temporary.

This morning I got a text message from my sister which brought a smile to my face. My niece Faith has been calling me and asking me all the time when she can come over and spend the night and hang out. I tell her she is always welcomed here. Anyway, my sister said that she had this note posted on the fridge. :)

Funniest Show ever!

2009-10-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

Last night I was flipping through the tv channels and happened to come across this show. It's called Whatever, Martha. I think it's probably the only show that I have actually sat and laughed at constantly. I think I found it so funny cause I think they have my dry sense of humor.

It's actually the daughter of Martha Stewart and her friend and they basically make fun of Martha Stewart. Hope you find it as funny as I did. Here is one of the clips I found on youtube.

Ridin Dirty

2009-10-06T14:08:00.001-07:00

Sorry I have nothing else to say today so I will leave you with these two pictures. :)

I'm back...sorta

2009-10-02T21:26:00.000-07:00

Well I am back or I should say have a little burst of energy for the moment. Wednesday during the day I started to get a really bad headache, which hasn't been that unusual for this pregnancy so I figured it was just another one of my headaches. After a few hours I started to feel worse and Johnny said I felt like I had a fever. He took my temp and it was 100.8 which didn't really scare me that bad so I took some Tylenol and waited a little bit longer. Well after about 2 hours it got worse and went up to 101.4. By this time my lovely husband who ~~WAS WORRIED SICK ABOUT HIS PREGNANT WIFE~~ fell asleep and was snoring in bed. I called my doctor and they suggested I get to the ER as soon as possible and get tested for influenza. I called my Mom and asked her if she could come and watch Aven. After once again trying to wake my husband to take his miserable pregnant wife to the ER with no luck. He said I didn't seem to sick if I was able to yell at him like I was. Boy does he still have alot to learn about me :) Instead of ripping off his head, like a pregnant hormonal wife with a fever should have done. I decided to just leave and have my Mom take me instead. (Yes, this is my anger still talking please forgive me. I really do love my husband.)

After sitting there for awhile and having them shove two cotton swabs up to get samples of what felt like my brain. I was told that they were going to send it off to the county and test it for swine flu but since I am 22 weeks pregnant and most of the test for swine flu are coming back with false positives they were going to treat me for it as if I have it.

We finally got home around 3 in the morning and I have been pretty much in bed ever since. I got a slight burst of energy this evening. That or I was just disgusted from sleeping in a nasty swine flu infested bed and got up and sanitized the entire room.

My husband has been really trying hard to make up for his stupitidy the other night but I don't know if I'm quite ready to let it go just yet :) Makes me worried I'm gonna have to call a cab when I need him to take me when I'm in labor.

New Ride for a Good Cause

2009-09-28T15:01:00.000-07:00

On Saturday we were invited to go to a fundraiser for the Joyful Foundation. The Joyful foundation is an organization made up of ALL volunteers that is dedicated to providing comfort to individuals in their time of illness or hardship. The Foundation supplies lap blankets that are hand-made by the volunteers to hospitals, cancer centers and individuals receiving long-term medical treatments, chemotherapy, renal dialysis, as well as victims of spousal abuse and their children.

The foundation was started by Sandy Berg-Whiley who has been receiving treatments every 21 days at Hoag hospital. She was cold and uncomfortable from the medications she was receiving, as well as the cold temperature of the hospital room. Her Mom made her a blanket to raise her spirits and keep her warm. Sandy thought that others might also benefit from a blanket to provide a gift of love and warmth. She started personally sewing a few blankets each month to take to the various centers. The response was so great and it all snowballed from there. The first year she started she was able to donate 250 blankets this year so far they are past 9,000 and counting!

Last year I was able to go to the first fundraiser for them and have been to two so far this year. It is such a wonderful thing to see even in a time when people don't have much money they step up for people in need.

They had a silent auction with alot of great gifts and also a live auction that Johnny's boss was asked to be the auctioneer. We had a really great time and alot of money was raised.

I had my eye on a nice blue BMW 6 series car that I thought Aven would look so cute in. I placed a bid on it and we got outbid. Then I placed another one and told Johnny that was my final offer. We ended up getting outbid again so I said well I guess he's not getting that car. Johnny's bosses wife went over and outbid the last person and ended up getting the car for Aven! It was so sweet of them. Aven woke up Sunday morning to a really nice surprise. He was pushing it all around the house. Thank you to the Kings!

Of course we couldn't leave and not have something for our baby girl on the way. Her Dad bid on a really cute basket full of pink Barbie stuff which we came home with. We'll be saving this for her for next Christmas or Easter. :)

Oh and I almost forgot...Johnny decided that he needed something for himself. So you think he would bid on something we could use for the family or something for the house...nope! He bid on a ride along with the Fullerton Police department. WHY ME?!?! I always had a feeling deep down he wanted to be a police officer. Now I am scared to death my husband is going to get hurt in the line of duty when he's not even getting paid for it!! That will be a whole other blog post. I guess it could be worse, he could be doing it in Los Angeles.

2 years ago

2009-09-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

Two years ago today I was looking outside the window begging God to not let it rain on my special day.

Two years ago today I made a promise in front of God, my friends and family to love this man forever.

2 years ago today I was the happiest girl in the world

Two years ago today God answered my prayers and it turned out to be such an amazing day.

2 years ago today I read the vows that everyday mean more and more to me.

I Brianna, take you, John to be my husband. I promise you, with all my heart, to walk beside you, in days of adversity, and in days of great happiness, to share and support your hopes, dreams and goals. I commit my love to you; I will grow with you in trust, communicate openly and honest with you. I vow to be there for you always; I will laugh with you in the happy times, comfort you in the sad days and provide a heart that understands. I will be faithful to you and you alone until Christ calls me home.

2 years ago today I had no idea would be the start of our family together.

The past two years for me have been the happiest times in my life. I don't know what else I could ask for. I have such an awesome husband, a beautiful son and another blessing on the way. I thank God everyday for everything he has given to me.

Baby Sisters Bridal Shower

2009-09-21T16:58:00.001-07:00

Well she's not the baby anymore. We had my sister Brenda's bridal shower yesterday. It's still so hard for me to picture her not the baby anymore. I still picture her as my little sister who I need to protect. In my mind I always think that she is still too young to get married. She's not, she is all grown up and is on her own. Back when I was in high school she used to tag along with me and always looked up to me and thought I was so cool, boy how things have changed. :) I thank God for the friendship we have. She is one of my best friends. She has helped me so much the past year with Aven and I appreciate her so much. She is getting married in Jamaica and I am so sad I'm not gonna be able to be there for her on her wedding day. My doctor won't let me fly that far into my pregnancy. :(

Here are some pictures from the shower.

Brenda and the Dog of Honor. ha

Bride and mother of the Bride

Grandma of the Bride

Sisters and a really small flower girl ha

Farrah was the helper passing out the appetizers...or sneaking them and eating them herself :)

Everytime Brenda would open a gift that had any lingerie in it she would bury her head behind it and her face would turn every shade of pink you could think of. I guess it was because her future mother in law was sitting in front of her. I'd have to tell her to get over it and hold it up so I could take a picture so she finally did.

This is another one of my best friends Courtney whom I am trying to get married off. I had some rings as decor and made her put it on so I could send it to her boyfriend. Doesn't she look so cute with a ring on that finger? I think so! Ben if your reading this....WHAT'S THE HOLD UP??? :)

Anniversary Dinner

2009-09-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

Sat night we went out to dinner for our 2 year anniversary that is tomorrow. We have made it a tradition to go to Roy's for dinner on our anniversary. We went there in Hawaii while on our trip that we got engaged so I always like going there it brings back all the fun Hawaiian memories from our trip and not to mention the Chocolate Souffle that is to DIE for. :)

When we got there they had a special message in both our menus. I was so excited I had to take a picture ha

My beautiful double shot VIRGIN strawberry daiquiri

First dessert was a cheese cake that would knock your socks off.... I wasn't wearing socks but if I was I'm sure they would have came right off.

Last but not least my favorite the Chocolate souffle. We even took a to go one for the babysitters, my Mom and Dad.

Pregnant girl shoveling the souffle down her throat as fast as she could so her husband wouldn't eat it all. :)

It's a Girl...FOR SURE!

2009-09-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

So we went in to get what it seemed like our 73rd ultrasound this pregnancy and it is for sure, a girl. My Mom and Grandparents met us there so they could get to see the baby too. It was funny because when they would turn it into the 4d mode the baby kept smiling at us and to me looked like the joker. I guess she must have my personality....oh great :) Anyway here are a few pictures from the ultrasound.

There she is smiling at us. She is using my placenta as a little pillow to lay on.

Disneyland

2009-09-18T13:04:00.001-07:00

This week I got a pass to Disneyland. I figured it would be perfect time to get out and do something fun and not spend a ton of money doing it. After looking at the pictures from the other day I might have enjoyed the rides more than Aven.

Halfway there!

2009-09-18T12:27:00.001-07:00

Today marks the halfway point until we get to meet our little baby. I still can't believe how much faster my 2nd pregnancy has gone than with the first. I know it's because I get pretty busy with Aven and it keeps my mind off the waiting.

We are so excited we get to go in the morning to double check the sex of the baby and get another little peek. I don't care how many times you have had an ultrasound it never gets old seeing what a miracle life really is.

Here is a cute poem that I somehow came across when I was pregnant with Aven and it's one of my favorites.

A newborns conversation with God…

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

“And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, “Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

“Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

God said, "You will simply call her, 'Mom'."

List of Names

2009-09-18T10:21:00.000-07:00

No, not me. I wish I had my own list of names but I don't. I went over my sisters house and my niece Faith told me to not leave yet because she had to give me something. She comes back and hands me a list of names she said she had been working on for the new baby. It's sad when an 8 year old can get the hint that she might need to make some suggestions cause she doesn't want to end up with a nameless cousin :) She is so cute and I love the list she made. It will go great in the baby book. Along with all of the pictures of how we kept changing our mind if it was a girl or a boy ha

I think it's so funny how she even put her own name and her sisters names on the list.

5th Ultrasound

2009-09-16T09:53:00.000-07:00

Well after 4 ultrasounds I have decided we should probably get another just to be sure that this really is a girl this time. The first time I went it was my first one and still too early. The second time the legs were crossed and we had no luck. The third time we were told it was a boy as you all know. ha This last time she said she was positive it was a girl. Johnny and I have decided we are sick of this up and down roller coaster and we need another confirmation before we start doing the nursery. So this Saturday we are going in again to get a 2d and 4d ultrasound to see if they can tell. With my luck they wont be able to tell or it will end up really being one of each like my sister has been hoping for. :) I will update on Saturday and let you all know. For now I will leave you with a few pictures of our Princess....or Prince.

She/He loved laying facing down the whole ultrasound.

Sucking my thumb already

Now I need girl names!

2009-09-15T14:30:00.001-07:00

I was just asked by one of my readers if I need suggestions for girl names. Yes, as a matter of fact I do. At least if it turns out in another ultrasound to be a boy I will have all my bases covered :)

Let's try this again :)

2009-09-15T08:08:00.001-07:00

So instead of redoing my whole dramatic reveal at the park again. I thought photo shop would be alot easier to recreate this moment. Yes, we are having a girl....I think! :) I don't know what to believe anymore.

Well as some of you already know, I went and got my big ultrasound yesterday. Before my appointment I was in the shower thinking how funny it would be if they told me (after I found a name I started to really like) that it would be a girl and I'd have to start my search for names all over. Well the lady started the scan. The baby was all curled up and nice and comfy. She was trying to get the baby to move around a little bit so she could get all the measurements she needed and to check everything out. Well I made a comment on how HE must be stubborn like my other son. She said "oh do you already know what it is?" I said, "Well I was told in my last ultrasound that it was a boy." After looking around a few more minutes she said, "Well this looks like a Girl to me!" I said, "Wait are you sure?" She said, "I am pretty positive that this is a girl cause there is nothing but 3 lines here! If this isn't a girl I want you to call me cause I would be in shock." At this point I was laughing so hard she couldn't get a good measurement if she tried.

It was pretty strange though in my head I had the feeling that this pregnancy was so different than the one with Aven. I get headaches ALL the time and I never got really any symptoms with him. I know every pregnancy is different but I just had this gut feeling. I guess I was right.

Anyone that knows me well enough knows that this wont be my last ultrasound. I'm not going out and buying anything pink until I get another confirmation but I'm pretty sure that Aven will have a little sister to be torturing soon!

Danielle

2009-09-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

I got to take some pictures of my friends Daughter yesterday. She wanted me to take some head shots for her. She is such a sweet girl! I had so much fun taking pictures of her. She had me laughing and so amazed how she could go from laughing, then to serious all in a matter of a few seconds. Oh how fun it is to be young like that!

She is a total girl and didn't appreciate her hands getting dirty :)

My nameless child

2009-09-09T09:24:00.000-07:00

I have been trying so hard to think of names for the new baby and I'm having such a hard time. The whole trip up north I was looking at road signs trying to get ideas and can't think of anything. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna just have to pick a name out of a hat. ha Does anyone have any good name ideas?

Our visit to Monterey

2009-09-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

This weekend we headed up to Monterey for my cousin Lauren's wedding. We had a great time. We stayed with my parents in their trailer at a really nice camp site. I was going to do a big huge post but my sister already did so you can go read about the trip here since I'm too lazy to do my own. :)

Mini Vacation

2009-08-28T11:02:00.000-07:00

This weekend Johnny and I are going to Vegas for a little mini vacation. I am excited to finally get a break but I am sad to leave Aven. This is the first time I've been away from him overnight. I think I totally over packed his bag. Do you think 3 bags full of stuff is too much for two nights? haha Paranoid parent. I'm sure he is excited to get to stay with his Nanny and Papa and wont even notice I am gone.... I think it's going to be harder on me.

Wish me luck that I survive the whole trip and don't call every 5 minutes to check up on him. :)

She's going home!

2009-08-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

Just got an update that Faith is on her way home and finally out of the hospital!

Update on Faith 8/28

2009-08-28T08:19:00.001-07:00

I got a text message from Bridget this morning on Faith....

She had a good night and oxygen level is up 100 on her own! She doesn't see why they can't go home...she prays it's soon. She's waiting on the doctor to make the rounds and let them know if she can go home or not.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and all your prayers. I know Faith is ready to go home but I know her well enough and she loves everyone showering her with kind words and gifts.

I will update later if I hear any more news.

Praying for Faith

2009-08-27T15:48:00.000-07:00

Please pray for my niece Faith. She was stung by a string ray a few days ago at the beach and got a high fever not long after. She has been in the hospital for the past few days. They found that she has pneumonia and she's not been able to keep up her oxygen levels on her own. She has been such a good sport this whole time but she is getting super frustrated and is ready to go home. Please pray for her oxygen levels to go up enough for her to be able to come home to be back with her brothers and sisters.