Funeral

Today I went with my Mom to a funeral for a friend she knew through work/church daughter. I heard the story and my heart broke for the family.

They lost their little girl on Tuesday. She was only 29 days older than Aven and the Mom is expecting another baby in June. Their situation really hit home since our babies are so close in age.

I wasn't sure if I should even go because I know how I am and I get super emotional but for some reason I really felt I needed to go. I am so glad that I did.

We first got to the church and I told myself to try and hold it together and was being so strong. As soon as we walked in the door and I saw all her toys, (some the same that my own son plays with) on the table along with pictures and memories of her short, life I lost it. I went in the bathroom and didn't think I could pull myself together enough to even go back out to the service. I finally did and we went to sit down and I felt a little better....until the service began.

Her Dad got up and spoke and was such an inspiration. I'm sure horror probably overwhelmed him. Heartache certainly overtook him. Yet heaven overshadowed him. Instead of him being upset and questioning why God would take his little girl home so early he stood up there with such peace cause he knew his baby was in the arms of her real father. That peace surpassing all understanding can only come from a God who is alive and can be touched with our feelings. That feeling of security enabled him to get up there and show everyone there the amazing amount of trust he had and that he still believed even in the darkest time.

He spoke about the time they found out they were expecting till the last day he spent with her and how she wanted her Daddy to hold her cause she wasn't feeling good.

As a parent you always want to think you will out live your children, but that is not always the case. Whether you lose them in the womb, or at the age 2, or 50 they are still your baby. It's so hard to even comprehend why things like this happen to people and why God would take a baby at such a young age. We will never know these things this side of Heaven.

It was such a great reminder that our children are on loan from God. We never know when he will decide to take them back home.

When you experience that kind of tragedy and still stand proud with Jesus by your side, that action alone is enough to make anyone going through a problem to reconsider the pain, count the cost and still say "I still believe too."

20 more days (or so)

I have been totally slacking on my blog lately. Things have been moving so fast here at the Adams House. We've been trying to get prepared for our little one to arrive and Johnny has been out of town.

I really can't believe that this pregnancy is almost gone. It's been bitter sweet. I keep thinking this could possibly be my last pregnancy for all I know. I get emotional when I think that Aven will no longer be the baby in the family. I look at him and to me he still seems so small and now he will be a big brother.

I am so excited to meet our little girl and yet so scared and anxious and wonder how I will be able to handle all of it and make sure I give them both the attention they need. I want to be able to take it all in and enjoy this special time with my babies. It goes by so fast. :(

I finally decided on a name after many months of changing my mind. Her name is going to be Berlyn. Now lets pray that it doesn't come out a boy or he might not have a name for the first few months of his life jk