Fundraiser update

Just wanted to update everyone on the fundraiser so far. We are at $1,227.00!!! Over half way there and we still have 18 more days!! Thank you all so much for your support. I am very hopeful we will reach our goal! Please keep spreading the word. :) If you still haven't donated and would like to you can go directly to The Joyful site here or by clicking the donate button to the right of this post. Thank you again!!

Love,

The Adams Family

Fundraiser update

We are only a few days in to the fundraiser and we are getting close to half way there. The total is now at $642.00. That is a little over 32 blankets that will be going to someone who really needs to be lifted up! I am amazed by every ones love and support for a good cause! We even had two donors that are cancer survivors! We also had a young boy donate some of his allowance after hearing about what we're doing. So thankful to all of you!!

Please remember if you do donate you can either go directly to The Joyful foundation site by clicking here, or if you would rather do it through paypal you can click on the donate button to the right.

I will keep everyone updated on our progress!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!

Berlyn's Fundraiser

Can't even believe that our little girl is almost 1. As this day is fast approaching I have had so many mixed emotions. This year has been such a crazy year. Last year around this time I just wanted this baby out and to meet her. I never in a million years would have guess our baby would have anything wrong with her.



March 30th, 2010 my life was turned upside down. On that day I found out that Berlyn had a heart defect and would require a balloon dilation that following week. That whole week was a blur. Since that day I have seen life so different. Before all this I just went about my business and thought this stuff happened to "other" people. I have always had a generous heart but never really went out of my way to make a difference until her. She has made me who I want to be and made me appreciate life and see things so differently. All this pain I've experienced over the years has really opened my eyes to see there is way more to life. And for that I am thankful.

As her birthday approaches I am thankful for each and everyday with her. She has become such a fun, sweet girl.



I wanted to make her birthday special and to mean something more than just cake and ice cream and toys. I have decided that I wanted to give back to other children and families that are going through those hard painful days that seems like there is no end in sight. I have decided to do a fundraiser for The Joyful Foundation in honor of Berlyn's first birthday. The Joyful foundation is an organization of all volunteers that sews blankets for hospitals, cancer centers, heart patients, patients that are getting chemotherapy and dialysis as well as victims of spousal abuse and their children. They donated an awesome "heart" blanket with her name on it. Which we take everywhere with us.

I don't think anyone will ever understand the amount of pain someone goes through unless they are in that position or have to see their child go through something so traumatic as heart surgery or cancer or many other serious problems. The joyful foundation has so much demand for blankets for kids like the girl below that they really can't keep up.

Joyful Foundation patient who just got her blanket

I know times are tough for alot of people so I'm not asking for much. I have set my goal to raise $2,000. I know that seems like alot but I am hopeful that I can reach that goal and be able to tell Berlyn and show her how we celebrated her first birthday. If you feel lead to give anything even if it's $5.00 that will help out tremendously. If you would like to donate online you can go here Make sure that you write in the comment section "Berlyn". Thank you from the bottom of our "hearts" I will be updating everyone and let you know if we reached the goal!!

Broken Heart

I've been wanting to post now for the past few days and kept thinking of things to write and between the crying, researching, working and chasing after kids I really just avoided it all together.

Finally I have a few minutes and wanted to share with you on the status of Berlyn. Monday was her follow up cardiology appointment since her last hospital visit. I was already having a bad morning and was hoping that this wasn't a sign of things to come. Unfortunately, for us this was a sign of how the rest of the day would go.

I asked my Grandma to go with me to the appointment to be with me and keep an eye on Aven for me. I had this gut feeling it was gonna not be news I wanted to hear alone. It didn't take the doctor long to look at her and let me know that he had a good feeling that within the next year or so Berlyn would most likely have to again have the balloon dilation performed. Hearing those words was like a stab to my chest. I tried to play it cool but was screaming inside. WHY??? WHY AGAIN??? I know what the risks of doing another one is. You risk stretching the valve again and risk causing it to leak. We also discussed the possibility of having to one day repair or replace her valve. I know that everyone says that everything will be ok and just take it one day at a time. It's just not easy to not think about what could be a great possibility down the road. I was fine up until the office door closed behind me. I just stood there and cried. I always read about this stuff that happened to other children. Never in a million years would I have pictured myself going down this road.

It amazes me that in a matter of minutes how your life can be changed forever. On Monday I felt like life as I once knew it came to a halt as the rest of the world carried on around me. It was my Moms birthday and I was having everyone over to celebrate. I didn't want to ruin the day so I tried my best to put a smile on my face and act like I wasn't breaking down inside. Sometimes you never realize things living in your perfect world that there are bigger things out there. Things that can bring you to your knees in an instant. Things that have kept you from seeing the true meaning of life and what it really means to live.

Monday night I kept looking at Berlyn thinking how can this laughing baby possibly have anything wrong with her?

Being told that there is something wrong with your child is probably one of the hardest things to hear as a parent. You start feeling so many emotions all at one time and feel so quickly overwhelmed. You go from being shocked, angry, helpless as you realize there is nothing that you can do to change the situation and have so much fear of not knowing where the next day or months will take you.

It starts to seem like everything around you begins to suffer. I have watched my friendships become closer and even some fade away. I have watched as my marriage takes a hit as we both try and learn to come together and deal with our grief on many different levels. (I tend to be more open with my feelings, I think he thinks he has to be the tough one and not show them.) There are so many hardships that come along with this kind of news that can either break you if you let them. Or can make you stronger and realize the important things that really matter.

It breaks my heart to come to realize I don't have the perfect, healthy child that I always dreamed of having and living the life I thought I would. I have found hope that although this new journey is full of many uncertainties that my faith and ability to trust God fully with this will guide me through this journey. I have found joy in the simple things and have learned to cherish each and every single moment with my family.

I know God performed his first miracle with Berlyn's life when we were able to find out at a unrelated urgent care appointment that she even had anything wrong with her heart. I know for a fact that if we didn't find out that day that she might not be around today.

Berlyn is a precious miracle to us and I thank God for her everyday for her and for the changes I have made in my life because of having her here.

Another scary moment that probably aged me 20 years

Well I'm back. What a crazy few weeks it has been. Just when you think everything is going nice and calm and your life is getting back to semi-normal, something happens and once again a rug is pulled out from under your feet.

September 12th...another one of the scariest days being of being a parent.

I knew this day was off to a bad start when I decided it would be a good day to go on a hike. It's the first time I've done any major exercising in awhile. I know your only supposed to wait the normal 6 weeks to start working out but I chose 7 months. (wanted to make sure I was really healed up :) haha) The hike was about 5 miles long and about 2.5 miles up a huge hill. I was thanking God when I could see the end in sight. I was thinking how bad I wanted to just go home and relax.

On my way home I got a call from Johnny and he said, "You need to hurry and get home, Berlyn just puked." I was thinking ok she just spit up like she always does. No big deal. I hurried home and walked in and went over to say hello to her. As soon as I walked over to her I could see she was choking and gasping for air. I sat her up really quick and she was trying to throw up. She spit up some nasty looking bile and it got on me. I told Johnny to hold her for a second while I wiped it up. As soon as I turned my back he yelled at me, "Brianna somethings wrong she doesn't look like she's breathing." (Something to that effect. After I looked back everything was a blurr) I looked over and she was limp and really white and her lips were blue. He padded her on her back and she kind of woke up but was still really out of it. I grabbed her and told him to dial 911. I grabbed her and held her in my arms and immediately thought that she was having problems with her heart.

I called my Mom and told her to come as soon as she could. As I sat and waited for the ambulance to arrive which seemed like an eternity. I just held her and prayed to God that this wasn't her heart and she would be ok.

The paramedics got to our house and asked us a bunch of questions and transported us to the nearest hospital. I think they thought I was just an over paranoid Mom who's daughter just threw up and was no big deal. The paramedic pretty much just sat there filling out paper work the whole ride over. I kept telling him that she looked super pale and I could tell something wasn't right. He still sat there filling out his paper work when she began to throw up again. Finally he realized that I wasn't just a over paranoid Mom and this was a little more serious. He finally said, "Yeah maybe I should put on some Oxygen." DUHHHH

As soon as we arrived at the hospital they started her on IV fluids and her color started to come back and she was being her happy self again.


They didn't know what would cause her to pass out and wanted to do more testing. Chino hospital doesn't have a pediatrics department so they transported us to CHOC. I was so thankful to have them come. I could now know that Berlyn was in safe hands.

She got treated like royalty on her ride over to CHOC. They sang to her, let her watch Dumbo, blew her bubbles. All while I sat in the front seat pulling out my hair.

We got to CHOC around 5PM that night. I was still in the same sweaty work out clothes from that morning and still hadn't eaten. By this time the soreness set in from not working out like that in a year. I was walking around the hospital like I just finished a bull riding competition.

They did a bunch of tests on her and still couldn't figure out what was wrong with her.

They decided to keep us over night and see how she did.

They finally came in the next day and told me that she was super dehydrated and said it caused her to have a cynaotic episode which made her pass out.

They did check her heart and the report did show that her valve looked a little tighter but her cardiologist said that when they get sick or are under stress it can cause that to happen.

We go back on November 1st to see how her heart is doing then.

This little girl is sure giving her parents some sleepless nights and heart aches and she's not even 1 years old.

Missing in Action

I haven't posted in awhile. Been pretty busy. Not to mention my husband thinks I spend way to much time "blogging" so I haven't done it as much. :)

Anyway, things have been going good. We had a small scare with Berlyn a few weeks back. Her head grew pretty quick since her last appointment so they were concerned she had "water on her brain" Thank God that my baby just has a big head. She is perfectly fine.

We did find out that same day that Aven also has a heart murmur and we are going on Monday to see the cardiologist to find out if his is just a "normal" murmur. I am praying that it is.

Today Berlyn is 7 months old! Boy how the time flies by. I will update with her monthly picture later but I will leave you with a few pics I took of her the other day.

I wish I looked this cute chubby :)

She wore an itsy bitsy tinnie winnie.....

Yellow polka dot bikini

that she wore for the first time today!