Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Prayer for Berlyn

Little did I know that only 5 months after writing this post that everything I wrote in that post would be tested.

Last weekend I took Berlyn for an small eye infection, when the doctor was checking her he asked me how her heart was. Why would he be asking me about her heart if I was here for her eye? He told me that it sounded abnormal and we would need to do some further testing. He sent her over for an xray right away and told me I should follow up with a specialist for an EKG. I was completely shocked and forgot all about the real reason I even went in. My sister went through this same thing with her daughter and I was pretty sure that this would be another case and they would tell me it would be something she would grow out of.

I called today to make the appointment just to rule out anything being wrong. I didn't expect them to tell me I should drive down today to bring her in and get checked out. I immediately called my Grandma to go with me knowing that if something bad were to happen I wanted someone there with me and to be able to have two ears.

The doctor came in who was super nice. He began listening to her heart and took awhile doing so. Seemed like the few minutes he was listening was lasting a lifetime. I was trying to read his expressions to see if this was going to be good or bad news. He said that he found an abnormality and wanted to go in the other room to take a better look. I just knew from that moment things weren't going to be good. I immediately wanted to stop right there and just cry but I bit my lip and went in.

After looking at her heart for about a half hour he told me that she has a condition called Aortic Stenosis and she has to go in on Tuesday for a procedure on her valve to try and enlarge it. Pretty much everything he said after that I was in a daze and tried to take as much information in as I could and not breakdown. I just looked at the doctor thinking HOW?! How could this be happening to my child who is sitting here asleep next to me looking so peaceful? As soon as he shut the door I broke down and cried. My Grandma tried to be strong for me but we both just sat and looked at her and cried.

I know things could be way worse. My baby is alive and breathing and before today I had no clue that anything was wrong with her. Before today I knew not one thing about a heart besides that it pumped blood. I had no idea when I woke up this morning I would have had a lesson in cardiology and be searching online what Aortic Stenosis was. It goes to show how your life can change in the matter of minutes.

As I am writing this she is laying in my lap fast asleep. On the outside she is so perfect yet that little heart inside her is struggling. As much as I want to be angry and question why this is happening to my baby and my family I can only trust that God is in control.

I know from the minute I found out I was pregnant with her that God had big plans for her life and I know that to still be true.

Please pray for her that everything will go well and that I will have the strength to get through this week and that day. I know she is in the best care that she can be and I know that above all she is in Gods hands.

”Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight”
Proverbs 3:5-6

12 comments:

Roberts Family said...

I will definitely be saying prayers for your sweet beautiful berlyn

Simply Blessed said...

Oh Brianna... I am so sorry that you guys are going through this. I have been praying for her and will continue to do so. God is so good and He will take care of her. Sweet beautiful Berlyn...

Marie Evelyne Lanathoua said...

Hi Brianna, You have a good team of doctors I'm sure since your at CHOC and even better God is on your side, I can't imagine how you must feel, but God has given these doctors the knowledge to correct things like this....and we will all be praying for you! God Bless you and we are all here lifting you up in prayer.

Marie

Susannah said...

Oh sweet Brianna, I am fervently praying for Berlyn and you! God is in control-you know this. I have faith that she will be fine.
xoxo

Jo Jo said...

Brianna, I am so sorry. My heart dropped when I read this. I am praying for you and for your sweet baby girl. I pray that God will give you strength and comfort and peace. For your baby girl, I pray for complete healing.

Heather said...

I am so sorry to hear this! I have been praying for Berlyn and your family that you could all have the strength to make it through this time and little Berlyn will be safe and healthy!

Krista said...

Hi Brianna, She will be in good hands at CHOC. I have a few friends who's kids go there for different things. I have been seeing Dr. Balguma in Upland for 5 years now. I really like him a lot. He is very thorough and close to home. I'll be praying for Berlyn and you, too! ~Krista

Michelle Bradley said...

Praying! God will give you the strength to get through this. He is watching over your sweet beautiful baby girl. xoxo

Megs said...

I am so sorry to hear about Berlyn! I definitely know how you feel and what you are going through right now. Isaiah 41:10 has become my life verse as the Lord has used it many times in my life...
"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
The Lord is so good and faithful and He loves Berlyn even more than you do! Cling to Him and you will see how good He truly is and how much He loves us:) You are on my heart and I am praying for you guys. Love you!

Jen said...

Lots of prayers your way. I know how stomach dropping it is to think something is wrong with your baby. She is in great hands, and lots of good thoughts that things will go exactly as planned. ;)

We will be praying for her, but for you as well. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

missymomissy said...

ohmygosh brianna, i am so sorry to hear. my husband and i will definitely keep her and your family in our prayers. hang in there girl...

Ash♥Morrow said...

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. Sweet little Berlyn will be in my prayers, as well as you and your family.