Here Comes Fat Magda

Well yesterday I decided I was going to go mystic tanning so you can't see my blood flowing through my cheesy legs at Johnny's Christmas party. I'm already not feeling the cutest to begin with so I figured I might as well be a little bit tanner. I went yesterday and I figured I would kick it up one notch from last time cause it didn't do much...BAD MISTAKE. I woke up this morning and I look like Magda fromThe movie Something About Mary, except my skin doesn't feel like a snake and she is super skinny. So now I'll just look like a huge Orange at the party.